THE TEXAN HUNTRESS. 279 



with my wicked, scornful gibing at everything men hold 

 sacred. As to women " to search the bottom of annoy," 

 and gall, and pain them with the most studied and cruel rail- 

 lery, was an especially pleasant recreation the enjoyment 

 of which was heightened in the precise ratio of their beauty 

 and wit or, as I pretended to myself, of their power to 

 deceive and ruin the moral lives of others, as mine had been 

 blasted by them.. At last I sickened of such tame amuse- 

 ments. 



I thirsted my blood was on fire for sterner excitements I 

 longed to meet death face to face, and look on carnage. It 

 was an anticipated ecstacy of proud and fierce delight the 

 thought of meeting my detested fellows openly at the weapon's 

 point. I had champed with the social manacles on, over my 

 stifled hate, until endurance was no longer possible. I looked 

 around upon the world for the scenes and circumstances fitted 

 to the gratification of such pleasant humors. Texas was a 

 very paradise of monsters the vicious, the desperate, the 

 social and civil outlaws of all the world had gathered there. 



Delightful fraternity of devils ! they were fighting among 

 themselves, fighting with the Mexicans, fighting with the 

 Indians, and for recreation to keep their hands in were 

 battling with the wild beasts. Charming existence ! How it 

 attracted me ! how I yearned to participate in its pleasures. 

 I madly severed the few remaining ties, and started for this 

 El Dorado of the ruffian. 



My friends saw me go, I believe, with a mournful sense of 

 relief. Though I had been guilty of no overt outrage against 

 the laws of society, yet my moral presence had become pesti- 

 lential, and they felt that the morbid disease which was 

 withering up my soul, must find its own cure. I found myself 

 in just the element I needed in this country. I met with 

 men capable of all I dared to do as hard and reckless, as 

 God-defying and man-hating, as could be desired. I felt at 

 home and at ease with such men we understood each other ! 



