376 WILD SCENES AND WILD HUNTEKS. 



I cannot tell how long I lay there, but I fell with a portion 

 of my body in the water, and this revived me. I waked to 

 consciousness, with my brain clearer than it had been for 

 several days. I felt that the game was all up now, and a 

 strange calmness took possession of me. I smiled even, to 

 think what a wild feverish struggle I had gone through to 

 preserve a boon so utterly worthless as life now seemed 

 and how foolishly obstreperous and bitter I had been about 

 things that now appeared as mere conventional whimsicalities ! 

 To die ! why it is a sweet, a glorious prospect ! What was 

 life without the joy and happiness of dying? To die of 

 starvation ! It will be deliciously pleasant, as being lulled 

 to sleep by the roundelays of home. 



Strange ! I never thought of God now but as a name ; it 

 was an inevitable law of being I obeyed, gladly and meekly ! 

 The fancy took possession of me that I wanted to lie down 

 on the green moss under the trees. I must make one more 

 effort to get there. I attempted to crawl, but was too weak, 

 and fell ! I lay for some time, and still that fancy haunted 

 me so singularly, that my powerless limbs regained a partial 

 vigor ; I crawled on my hands and knees up the bank. It 

 took me a long time to do this. I felt as if it was my last 

 duty, and desperately I struggled to accomplish it. I passed 

 my gun and dragged it along with me. I thought of the 

 wolves, and wanted to go to sleep in peace. 



I reached the mott. There was one bright green spot, 

 under the largest tree, in the centre. That's the place. 

 It will be a lovely couch. I managed to reach it, and 

 stretched myself upon my back, with my gun by my side, 

 and my head resting on a cushion of moss near the root. 

 My eyes were closed. An indescribable sense of weakness 

 pervaded my being. I felt that I should never rise from 

 that place again. But I was happy. The agony was over ; 

 the "fitful fever" had grown cal.n, and was slowly sinking 

 me to rest. The loved faces of that far away home came 



