336 "GENERAL BEM," THE CAT-BIRD. 



to begin the world over again, yet, as he was not superannuated, and was, withal, ambitious, 

 his case was still not a desperate one, although we had assured him most positively that 

 we would not fall in love with him we had only invited him there to help us pass the 

 time. 



Bern looked wise at the assertion, but said nothing. The next morning we gave him 

 water for a bath, which he immediately used, and then sprang upon my head, very much 

 to my surprise ; then he darted to the window, then back to my head, screaming all the 

 time most vociferously, until finally I went to the window, for peace' sake, and stood in 

 the sunshine, while Bern composedly dressed his feathers, standing on my head first on one 

 foot, then on the other, evidently using my scalp as a sort of foot-stone, and my head as a 

 movable pedestal for his impudent generalship to perch on when he felt disposed to be 

 comfortably elevated ; and had clearly come to the conclusion as I was so fond of 

 transporting him from his native land, that I should serve as a convenient craft to bear 

 him where his moods commanded. 



In a word, he had determined to turn tyrant ; if I had had the deliberate purpose of 

 using him as a mere toy, he had at least the coolness to make me available, and fiom that 

 time I became the victim of the most unequalled tyranny. Did I neglect his morning 

 bath beyond the instant, iny ears were assailed with screams and cries, till I was forced to 

 my duty ; I must bear him into the sunshine, or my hair was pulled ; I must bring him 

 his breakfast, or he pecked my cheek and lips ; in fine, I was compelled to become his 

 constant attendant, while in the meantime he most diligently assailed my heart by 

 endearing confidences. He would sit upon my arm and sleep, he would get into my 

 workbox, and while I watched that he did not pilfer a little, he would quietly seat 

 himself upon its edge, and in a low sweet voice lull my suspicions by such tender melodies, 

 that finally I could no longer say, ' I will not love you, Bern ! ' but gave him the 

 satisfactory assurance that he was not quite so much of a tease as I had tried to think 

 him ; and he now received my daily offering of small spiders and worms with gestures 

 of evident pleasure. 



These were always presented to him enveloped in white paper, which he carefully 

 opened and secured his prey, before it could escape, even though it was sometimes a 

 difficult task to keep his vigilant eye upon so many apparently escapading when I was 

 called to the field, and appointing me a station, I was expected to give the alarm when 

 one attempted to get away on my side, which he immediately killed and dropped, 

 and then darted after those on the outskirts of the field of action. 



At last, one day, Mr. Webber brought for my sister a Wood-thrush, which was very 

 wild and savage, and was, besides, extremely ugly, but had the reputation of being a good 

 singer, which made us forgive his sullen temper, and hope to win him back to more 

 gentle ways, when he should see that we would be his friends, and that he should 

 be almost free ; besides, General Bern was much inclined to make his acquaintance, and 

 took the first occasion to pay him a visit in his cage-house. This the stranger did not 

 fancy, and drove him out. Bern resented this, by turning on the threshold and pouring 

 forth a torrent of screams and mewings, which came near distracting the poor Thrush, 

 who darted at him and chased him to the bed, under which Bern darted, and was secure 

 for the present. 



But from that time there were no more overtures of friendship, they were sworn 

 enemies ; the Thrush from detestation of the impudent fellow who invaded his residence, 

 and finally appropriated it, to the entire desertion of his own, which, by-the-bye, was 

 much larger, and with which the Thrush eventually consoled himself, and Bern continued 

 to occupy, because it amused him to pester the ill-natured fellow, which he had set down 

 the Thrush to be. Many were the quaint scenes which now daily occurred. 



If Bern desired to take a bathe, the Thrush would endeavour to push him out ; but Bern 

 was not to be ousted in that style if he could prevent it, and commonly sent the poor 

 Thrush away in consternation, his musical ear stunned by such direful din as threatened 

 to rend his delicate heart as well as tympanum. Never shall I forget one droll scene, 

 One day Bern found on the floor a white grape, which he seemed to be disposed comfortably 

 to discuss, after having rolled it out into the broad sunshine. Just at this moment the 



