12 MORE POT-POURRI 



, Spectator.' This critic seems to doubt, more even than I 

 did, the courage of parents and nurses as regards giving 

 independence to young children. But in proof of the 

 desirability of my recommendations he quotes Stevenson's 

 admirable saying with regard to a boy : ' It is better for 

 him to break his neck than for you to break his spirit.' 

 This article shows the revers de la m&daille so well, as 

 regards the atmosphere of a home, that I copy it. After 

 approving my suggestions about giving allowances to 

 both girls and boys, it goes on to say : ' The question of 

 the frank criticism by children of their home is more 

 doubtful. It is, of course, better that their dissatisfaction 

 should, like the measles, " come out," but what about their 

 home manners ? Criticism is very apt to degenerate 

 into grumbling, and the spectacle of children or young 

 people grumbling about domestic arrangements is not 

 edifying. Grumbling is always rude ; and if manners 

 make the man, it is an undoubted fact that perfect 

 manners are incompatible with absolute brutal outspoken- 

 ness. For instance, the wife and mother who is trying to 

 attain the really lofty standard aimed at in this book 

 cannot, of necessity, be absolutely outspoken. If her work 

 is to be successful, she must not hint that any part of it is 

 distasteful ; that is, she must conceal some of her feelings. 

 Surely children should not be brought up to feel that 

 their father and mother are the only people they may be 

 rude to. And if the money argument is to be applied to 

 the wife, it must touch the children too ; they must not be 

 allowed to take all the luxuries of the house they do not 

 pay for, and then grumble because those luxuries are not 

 arranged as they like best. And now that we apply this 

 reasoning a second time, we see that in reality it is rather 

 an ugly argument. It is a fact, but, like other facts, 

 such as death and digestion, it need not be obtruded 

 at every moment. The woman's work may be given from 



