406 MORE POT-POURRI 



in 1898 (published by Longmans, Green & Co.), is an ex- 

 cellent example of the teaching to which I refer, and 

 would, I think, be helpful to many a girl. 



A very common grievance to-day between mothers 

 and daughters is that the girls while still young refuse to 

 go out into society at all, feeling how tiresome and 

 unprofitable it is. This is all very well if the girl has 

 mapped out her fate, and knows exactly what sort of a life 

 she is going to lead ; but if she is merely drifting, it is only 

 a form of selfishness, and rather a foolish one. Until 

 life is really settled, the more varied and open to change 

 it can be kept the better. After marriage I am sure the 

 more people stay at home the better for ten or fifteen years. 



The state I have referred to of more or less antagonism 

 between mother and daughter ought not to cause the 

 amount of distress that it often does. Time, the great 

 healer, constantly rights things again, and as a rule a 

 girl never turns with more true love to her mother than 

 just after her marriage. But my advice to girls under 

 these circumstances is to be conciliatory and hide from 

 others the irritation which often they cannot help feeling. 

 This I should recommend, even if from no higher motive 

 than that the casual observer should not judge them too 

 harshly. It is a rooted idea in the minds of many men 

 that a bad daughter makes a bad wife. Was not lago's 

 strongest argument in the poisoning of Othello's mind 

 against poor Desdemona ' She did deceive her father 

 marrying you ' ? Not long ago I heard a young man 

 say : c I mean to marry for a mother-in-law that is 

 to say, I will never marry a girl who does not love her 

 mother, nor would I marry a girl with a mother whom I 

 thought unworthy of her love.' 



The French, of course, exact an outward expression 

 of devotion from both sons and daughters unknown in 

 this country, and I doubt whether our literature could 



