Review, of Revieira, l/li/OO. 



Impressions of the Theatre. 



571 



his carriage, he is incHned to forbid the girl to go. 

 Go she does, however, and he curls himself up once 

 more to enjoy the warmth of the fire and its accom- 

 paniments. An engineer, once a great inventor, now 

 a broken-down tramp, forces himself into his pre- 

 sence and implores his assistance. The man is pen- 

 niless and in rags. His wife is dead, his only 

 daughter has disappeared. A partner swindled him 

 Lit of the protit of one of 'his inventions, and he 

 _ juld not patent the others for lack of capital. Mr. 

 Self refuses to help him to anything but whisky and 

 biscuits, and the tramp departs. 



Then Mr. Self falls asleep in his arm-chair over 

 his treatise on the Canals of Mars, and as he sleeps 

 he dreams, and until the end of the second act we 

 see his dream as if it were a reality. Amid the 

 heralding crash of thunder the stage darkens, and 

 then from the far distance can be seen speeding to- 

 wards us a visitant from beyond the limits of this 

 earth. Nearer, nearer he comes, until at last he 

 stands revealed in the library of Mr. Self, a graceful 

 figure of a man, a cross between Apollo and Thor, 

 a messenger from Mars. Mr. Self, not a little star- 

 tled at this strange and unsummoned apparition, is 

 informed that his visitant has been exiled from Mars 

 for a fault against Otherdom — he had claimed for 

 himself the exclusive credit of composing a chant in 

 which he had enjoyed the collaboration of a friend 

 since dead — and he was forbidden to return until 

 visiting the planet whose name in Mars is never 

 mentioned in polite society, but which begins with 

 H, he had effected the redemption of the most sel- 

 fish of all living beings. Therefore, he had made 

 his way to England in the first place, and as in all 

 England there was no more selfish being than Mr. 

 Self, he had arrived to undertake the heavy, almost 

 impossible task of redeeming the over-fed, self-com- 

 placent man by converting him to altruism. Of 

 course Mr. Self does not see it, and won't believe it. 

 ■■ I'm all right," he says : " you can go back to Mars 

 at once." As his visitant refuses to budge, he 

 threatens to turn him out, whereupon the stranger 

 stretches out his hand; he carries no magic wand, 

 Ijut instantly all the furniture reels and staggers to 

 and fro, and Mr. Self is doubled up as by a galvanic 

 shock. A repetition of this dynamic treatment by 

 the Martian reduces Mr. Self to abject submission, 

 and he prepares humbly to meet his imperious visi- 

 tor in the snow outside the house, where his women 

 folk are enjoying their dance. There we find him in 

 the bitter cold at the opening of the next act. After 

 stamping to and fro for a time in the snow he de- 

 cides to go away, and tips a policeman to find him 

 a hansom cab. The Martian reappears, and bv his 

 magic power reduces him to obedience. A shiver- 

 ing beggar-girl implores his charity. He roughly 

 refuses, and tells her to go home. " Give to her," 

 says the Martian. " But I have no silver!'' " Give 

 her gold." Remonstrance being useless, he gives 

 her a sovereign, and she departs blessing him. 



"Don't thank me," sa\s Mr. Self, '"thank him." 

 Then down the street there is a sudden outcry. A 

 poor man has been run over by a motor-car. Mr. 

 Self refuses to go to his assistance. " That's for the 

 police to do. Let them take him to a hospital.'" 

 The injured man, surrounded by a group of lament- 

 ing friends and relatives, is brought forward to the 

 centre of the stage, where the sorrowing wife does 

 her best to attend to her husband. " Give to her, ' 

 says the inexorable Martian. " But I have nothing 

 left but notes." " Give to her ; give to her all." 

 Mr. Self, cowed into submission, hands over reluc- 

 tantly notes to the value of ;£8o, and the sufferer 

 is borne off, while the doctor and others shower 

 benedictions upon Mr. Self for his marvellous gene- 

 rosity. There is the rush and clatter of a fire en- 

 gine. " What's that ?" said the Martian. ■' Oh, a 

 fire somewhere,'' says Mr. Self indifferently. " 'Won't 

 you go and help ?'' " No," he replies airily, " the 

 fire brigade will look after that." The Martian 

 then warns him fhat as he is incorrigible he must 

 himself endure the miseries with which he had re- 

 fused to sympathise. A newsboy brings a paper 

 which announces the failure of a bank, whidh en- 

 tailed the loss of every penny he had in the world. 

 A servant rushes up to tell him that it is his house 

 that is burning, from garret to basement. Through 

 the window of the ball-room he sees his rival pro- 

 posing to his fiancee, and hears her accept his offer. 

 He hears everyone condemn his selfishness and his 

 worthlessness. They chuckle over the news of his 

 disaster ; they even deride his claim to be a man of 

 science. Heavier and heavier fall the blows of 

 misfortune, but stUl he is obdurate. Then the Mar- 

 tian makes a pass. The fur coat, the evening dress 

 disappear, and Mr. Self stands a shivering, hungry, 

 ragged tramp upon the kerbstone. As he is won- 

 dering Where he can get something to eat, the old 

 tramp of yesterday comes along. He is rejoicing in 

 the fall of snow which means to him employment in 

 clearing it away. Finding another tramp hungrier 

 than himself, he gives Mr. Self the last of the bis- 

 cuits he had received in the library, and he suggests 

 to him the possibility of earning sixpence by clear- 

 ing away the snow from the ball-room door. They 

 agree to go partners in equal shares and set to work. 

 But, alas ! their hopes are disappointed. None of 

 the guests will give them a coin. The old tramp, 

 disappointed and wretclied, falls fainting in the 

 street. Mr. Self rushes to his assistance, and does 

 all that he can to restore him to life and hope. 

 " Put your hand in your pocket," says the Martian. 

 He does so, and discovers a sovereign. " Partner," 

 he cries with glee, '' here's a sovereign. Shares, 

 partner, shares." And his regenerative work com- 

 plete, the messenger returns tn Mars as mysteriously 

 as he came. 



In the third act we se<.> Mr. Self regenerated. He 

 wakes from his dream, finds his money in his pocket, 

 gold, silver and notes. The evening newspaper tells 



