THE HAED-Ur. 51 



doing the polite in tlie most expensive style— explaining- 

 the principles of electricit}^ : If you Want to be * shocked/ 

 touch the conductor ; if you don't, leave him alone ; and 

 if you fancy you are hurt, there's no extra charge for 

 holloaing" — a privilege the Dutchman at once availed him- 

 self of by kicking up a most awful row directly he and 

 the conductor became acquainted/' 



" Well, and was there anything else to see, Billy ?" 

 *' I believe you there was — all sorts of games, only it 

 seems a standing order of the place that you must be 

 *sold.' If you are up-stairs a bell ring-s all in to begin, 

 and you are told to go down ; if down, vice vev&ciy and 

 you go up. But Aunty was up and down to all their 

 schemes. First of all, the Ballad Music of England, with 

 illustrations." 



^' What ! the ballet, and ballet-girls ! that must have 

 been worth seeing ?" 



** No, no ! the hallad-Tmx'sh.Q — gentleman talks till he's 

 tired, then sings, then tells a story, then sings again. 

 'Twasn't bad ; only he did it all in such a lackadaisacal, 

 die-away fashion, as if he was going oif for instant execu- 

 tion at the end of the entertainment. Indeed, when he 

 came^to introduce a ballad he'd had the extreme misfor- 

 tune to compose himself, and that had inflicted the fur- 

 ther inexpressible agony on him of becoming rather popu- 

 lar, I thought his dejection would get too much for him, 

 and we should have to stop the piece." 



^'' No such luck, I reckon, Master WilHam?" 

 ^' No ! so then we toddled off again to the Chemistry 

 — more interesting j which means, a vast deal slower. 

 Lecture on Ancient Agriculture, when they used to make 

 their ploughshares red-hot to get them easier into the 

 ground — at least, so I took it. Red-hot shares intro- 



