8 SIR WILLIAM FLOWER chap. 



36 Cloudesley l^^^hCiL^ January 30, 1848. 



My dear Mamma — Imagine to yourself w^, standing in ecstasies 

 of delight over the just -arrived box, with hands trembling with 

 impatience, undoing the cord and snatching off the lid, then 

 pausing a moment where to commence the attack among the 

 tempting-looking packages of paper. Presently four pieces of 

 wood tied together and stuck in a corner are spied, and a brown 

 bird is brought to light ; then the stockings, least interesting but 

 not least useful, are thrown out ; then two mince pies, which did 

 not live many seconds to enjoy the smoky atmosphere of London, 

 for the hands, or rather mouth, of the destroyer was soon at work 

 on them ; then cake, jam, nuts, pies, books, etc., etc., follow in 

 quick succession : such a scene was enacted in this room about 

 three o'clock this day; — but after pleasure a reaction often 

 follows ; it grew dark, and I sat down by the fire, and I thought 

 of Home and you all and bygone days and — cried. I am not 

 generally melancholy now, because I have plenty to do, but if 

 ever I sit still for a few minutes doing nothing, and almost every 

 night when I go to bed, it comes on. What a singular thing 

 it is that the farther you look back on what has happened, and 

 the farther off it you are, it seems so much the happier ; time 

 and distance throw such a charm over everything. I think 

 sometimes that I was happy once but am not now, but really it 

 is not so; now, for instance, I think, oh, how happy I was at 

 such and such a place, but when I really and earnestly think of 

 the circumstances of it, I find that there were just as many 

 troubles and cares and disappointments then as there are now, 

 but these are forgotten and only the good impressions retained ; 

 that is why people say childhood is the happiest time of life ; it 

 seems so at first thoughts, but I think that happiness does not 

 depend on a ge ^£_££^^_J]^££ co nscience.^ 



This last reflection, together with the following 

 undated extract — " The Bible came home to-day ; I 

 hope it will be a constant companion and friend as 



