184 FORTY-FOUR YEARS OP 



ate oar breakfast together. As the Captain was taking 

 his place at the head of his men, and all were waiting the 

 order to march, a man informed me that a friend wished 

 to speak to me. I hurriedly accompanied him into a 

 house very near the place, and up-stairs, where I found 

 <wo of my friends, as I then thought, but whom my better 

 judgment has since taught me were the worst enemies I 

 ever had. They said that I should not go if they could 

 prevent it ; and one of them told me that he was in the 

 council-chamber at Annapolis the previous week, and had 

 then been promised that a commission should be sent up 

 for me as soon as possible. He said that if I did go down 

 to Baltimore, he would send immediately for me to return, 

 and attend to the business of the company. 



In a few minutes the word "march" sounded through 

 the streets, when off the company went, while I foolishly 

 remained behind — an act which has caused me more sin- 

 cere, heartfelt grief, than any other ; yes, than all the acts 

 which I have committed during the course of a long life. 

 But the deed was done, from no want of love of my coun- 

 try ; neither was it occasioned by cowardice, but by the 

 operation of the two causes above stated ; and ever since 

 I have longed for an opportunity to repair that much- 

 lamented act. And although I am now an old man, and 

 may never, perhaps, have an opportunity to retrieve that 

 misstep, yet, if an occasion should offer, I would freely 

 enter into any fort, and do all in my power to make ample 

 reparation. If I could not do much in a fight, I could 

 stop a ball that might kill a more useful man, though if 

 could not rob me of many days. If I never have the 

 opportunity of doing that which it is my desire to do, 1 

 yet have the satisfaction of leaving in my place six sons, 

 forty-four grandson' and seventeen great-grandsons, mak- 

 ing in all sixty-seven males : thirty-two grand-daughters, 

 eighteen great-grand-daughters, and five of my own 



