A RETURN TO NATURE 8i 



" However, I was quite different after that. I was 

 ashamed of my ways, and now spent all my spare time 

 and money in going out into the country as far as possible, 

 and reading the old books and the new ones that I could 

 hear of in the same spirit. I lived for these things. It 

 was now that I knew my slavery. Everything reminded 

 me of it. The return half of my railway ticket to the 



country said plainly, ' You have got to be back at 



not later than 10.39 P-"^-' Then I used to go a different 

 way back or even walk the whole way to avoid having 

 this thing in my pocket that proclaimed me a slave. 



" It was now that I first accepted the invitation of a 

 relation who lived on the east coast very near the sea. 

 The sea had a sandy shore bounded by a perpendicular 

 sandy cliff, to the edge of which came rough moorland. 

 The sea washed the foot of the cliff at high tide and 

 swept the yellow sand clean twice a day, wiping away all 

 footprints and leaving a fresh arrangement of blue pebbles 

 glistering in the bitter wind. It was impossible to be 

 more alone than on this sand, and I was contented again. 

 The sea brought back the feelings I had when I lay in 

 the buttercup field — the cemetery — and looked into the 

 sky. Walking over the moor the undulations of the land 

 hid and revealed the sea in an always unexpected way, 

 and often as I turned suddenly I seemed to see the blue 

 sky extended so as to reach nearly to my feet and half- 

 way up it went small brown or white clouds like birds- 

 like ships — in fact they were ships sailing on a sea that 

 mingled with the sky. It seemed a beautiful life, where 

 clouds could not help being finely spun or carved, or 

 pebbles help being delicious to eye and touch. But out 



G 



