THE FARM OF THE FIRST MINISTER. 39 



You will see that I am a Bachelor of Science." (Thereupon 

 he hands him a sheet of parchment, half as large as a bed blan- 

 ket, adorned with a great seal, a broad, blue ribbon and official 

 signatures.) 



Mr. H. — "A Bachelor of Science ! What is that? Science 

 is a large word. ' Bachelor of Science !' Does it mean that 

 you are an unmarried man, and know everything? Do you 

 know how how to drive a four ox-team ?" 



Graduate. — " You would hardly expect, Mr. Humphrey, a 

 learned college professor to teach the driving of oxen, would 

 you?" 



Mr. H. — ".I would if his students were not good teamsters ; 

 and also how to hitch to a plow, or a log, or a stone, or any- 

 thing else, so as to accomplish a given amount of work with 

 the least expenditure of power. Power on a farm is expensive. 

 But, if you know no teaming, you, doubtless, know all about 

 botany for that is a science. Can you tell me whether a hog- 

 weed is an annual, or a perennial plant?" 



Graduate. — "We studied botany at our college in the win- 

 ter, and I do n't quite remember. My recollection is, that it is 

 a perennial plant." 



Mr. H. — " Then this weed must have changed its nature. I 

 have known it and fought it in my garden and fields for half a 

 century and it has always heretofore been an annual one. 

 Science is progressing, however, and I have doubtless got be- 

 hindhand. But never mind the hog weed ! I want to drain 

 that narrow belt of ground, which you see sloping to the pond 

 on one side, and kept wet on the other by springs discharging 

 upon it, at the base of the hill which rises above it. Can you 

 tell me how to do it?" 



Graduate. — "Oh, yes, Mr. Humphrey, just have an hydraulic 

 engineer make you a drainage plan, and put in your drains as 

 he directs." 



Mr. H. — " Can you make me such a plan?" 



Graduate. — " Well, I have never done such work. A for- 

 mer president of your New Hampshire College of Agriculture 

 said, some years ago, at a meeting of farmers, that drainage 

 could be learned in five minutes, and for that reason I did not 

 study drainage." 



