16 



NEW ENGLAND FARMER. 



AGRICVLTURE. 

 Thovi first of arts, sourcf of domestic ease. 

 Pride of the land, and patron of the seas, 

 Thrift Agriculture ! lend thy potent aid ; 

 Spread thy green fields where dreary forests shadf ; 

 Where savage men pursue their savage prey, 

 Let the v/hite flocks in verdant pastures play ; 

 From the blooui'd orchard and the showery vale- 

 Give the rich fragrance to the gentle gale ; 

 Reward with ample boon the laborer's hand. 

 And pour the gladdening bounties o'er our land- 

 Columbia's sons, spurn not the rugged toil, 

 Your natiana iflory ts a cultured sod. 

 Rome's Cincinnatus, of illustrious birth, 

 Incrtas'd his laurels while he tillM the earth ; 

 E'en China's Monarch lays his sceptre down. 

 Nor deems the task unworthy of the crown. 



THE MILK-J^LiJD AJ^'D THE BA.VKEIl. 

 A Milk-maid with a very pretty face. 



Who liv'd at Acton, 

 flad a black Co-nr, the ugliest in the place, 



A crooked-back'd one, 

 A beast as dangerous too, as she was frightful. 

 Vicious and spiteful, 

 .And so confirmed a truant, that she bounded 

 Over the hedges daily, and got pounded. 

 Twas all in vain to tic her with a tether, 

 I'"or then both cord and cow elop'd together. 



Arm'd with an oaken bough (wh.it folly ! 



U should have been of birch, or thorn, or holly,) 



Patty one day was driving home the beast. 

 Which had, as usual, slipp'd its anchor. 

 When on the road she met a certain banker. 



Who stopp'd to give his eyes a feast 

 By gazing on her features, crimson'd high 

 By a long cow-chase in July. 



" Are you from Acton, pretty lass ?" he cried ; 



" Yes," with a curtesy, she replied. 



" Why then yon know the laundress, Sally Wrench 



" She is my cousin, sir, and next door neighbor." 

 " That's lucky, I've a message for the wench, 



" Which needs despatch, and you may save my labor. 

 " Give her this kiss, my dear, and say I sent it, 

 " But mind, you owe me one— I've only lent it." 



" She shall know," cried the girl, as she brandish'd 

 her bough, 



" Of the loving intentions you bore me, 

 " Rut as to the kiss, as there's haste, you'll allow 

 " That you'd better run forward, and give it my Cow, 

 *'^ For she, at the rate she is scampering now, 



" Will reach Acton some minutes before me." 



THE LAWYER AND THE CHIM.\EY SWEEP. 



A roguish old Lawyer was planning new sin. 

 As he lay on his bed in a fit of the gnut ; 



Th(' mails and the day-light were just coming in, 

 The milk-maids and rush lights were just going out : 



When a chimncy-swecjj's boy, who had made a mistake, 

 Came flop down the ITue, with a clattering rush. 



And bawl'd, as he gave his black muzzle a shake, 

 " My master's a coming to give you a brush." 



" If that be the case," said the cunning old elf, 



" There's no moment to lose — it is high time to flee ; 



" F.re he gives me a brush I'll brush off' jnyself, 

 " If I wait for the devil, the (Kvil lake me !" 



So he limp'd to the door, without saying his prayers, 

 lint Old Nick was too deep to he nick'd of his prey. 



For the knave broke his neck by a tumble down stairs. 

 And thus ran to the devil by running away. 



The strongest of all ties is the consciousness 

 of mutual benefit and assi.stance. 



It is too true that wounds, however small, 

 which are inflicted on our self-love are never 

 forgotten, and rarely forgiven ; and it is safer to 

 censure the morals of our acquaintance, than to 

 ridicule their dress, a peculiarity in their man- 

 ners, or a fault in their persons. 



We are all of us too apt to repeat stories to 

 the prejudice of others, even though we do not 

 believe thcin. Well indeed docs St. James say 

 that '• the tongue is an tinruly member." 



Whatever may be the ill Conduct of a hus- 

 band, that wife must be deluded indeed, who 

 thinks his culpability an excuse for hers, or seeks 

 to revenge herself on her tormentor by follow- 

 ing the bad example which he sots her. She 

 is not wiser than the child, who to punish the 

 wall against which he has struck his hand, dash- 

 es his head against it in the vehemence of his 

 vengeance, and is himself the only sufferer by 

 the blow. 



There is nothing more dangerous to the vir- 

 tuous and to the interests of virtue, than associa- 

 tion with the guilty who possess amiable and at- 

 tractive qualities. 



Opportunities for" confering large benefits, 

 like bank bills of ;J1000, rarely come in our way, 

 but little attentions, friendly participations, and 

 kindnesses are w<anted daily, and like small 

 change are necessary for carrying on the busi- 

 ness of Hfe and happiness. 



Many a conjugal union, which has never been 

 assailed by the battery of crime has fallen a sac- 

 rifice to the slowly undermining power of petty 

 quarrels, trivial unkindnesses, and thoughtless 

 neglect. 



Attention to decorum is one of the greatest 

 bulwarks of female virtue. 



It is a painful but well known fact that the 

 envy and rivalship of near relations is the most 

 bitter and inveterate. 



All persons given to anger are apt to dwell on 

 the provocation that they have received, and 

 utterly forget the provocation they gave. 



APHORISMS. 



To bear and forbear is the grand surety of 

 happiness, and ought to be the grand study of 

 life. It is that '• charity which sufiereth long, 

 and is kind, and is not easily provoked." 



Some persons say severe things at random, 

 without appearing at all conscious of the wounds 

 which they indict by 



'■ The word whose meaning kills, yet told, 



The speaker wonders that you thought U cold." 



ANECDOTES. 



In England, it is well known that the Yan-^ 

 kees are ridiculed with the name of Bumpkins.— - 

 An English lady, on a tour through the northei 

 part of this country, passing a field of p\impkmv 

 enquired what they were ? Her companion rejsi 

 plied that they were pumpkins. " Barbaruu 

 ■wretches,'' exclaimed the lady, (mistaking flu 

 name for tniinpkins.) "barbarous wretches, (/ 

 bury their fricnth u-iik their heads out of ground.' 



PETTR PUFF AUCTIONEER, 



Dyer and Man Milliner — mends clocks 

 makes wigs; tunes piano fortes and cuts con 

 man-midwife, .md horse-shocr ; boIlows-makS' 

 and teacher of psalmody ; has a diploma froi 

 Gretna Green, and another from the Univc 

 of Aberdeen ; attends at all times and phv 

 from br'^ak of day till three o'clock the n( 

 morning to unite the votaries of Hymen, inoi 

 late children, bleed horned cattle and othi 

 reptiles ; rings pigs noses and the parish be 

 and performs all kinds of manual operations 

 steam, water, and thirty-ass-power, withi 

 touching hand or foot to the machinery. 



Irish paper. 



A gentleman in Cork, of much taste fitted 

 a house in a style of great elegance. On shi 

 ing it, however, to a friend, the latter objec 

 to the thinness of the partitions, which dividei 

 the rooms from each other, observing that al 

 that was said in one room might be heard in thi 

 next. To this the owner replied that he wouli 

 immediately try the validity of the objection b 

 an experiment which would not fail. He ac 

 cordingly called his servant Patrick, directe' 

 hinv to go into the next room^ to carefully shu 

 the doors, and then listen in order to ascertai 

 if he could distinguish any words spoken in th 

 other room where his master remained. Whe 

 iiie master thought Pat was properly statione 

 he called out to him " do you hear me ?" Pa 

 answered " no Sir.'''' 



When Themistocles was a boy, he was on a 

 certain time returning from school. Pisistratus 

 happening to meet him, the master said to The- 

 mistocles, " stand out of the way, and give place 

 to the prince." " What," said Themistocles, 

 " has he not room enough ?" thus intimating 

 the little respect he paid tg a tyrant. 



Some people are proud of dress, others are 

 proud of their singularity. Some are proud of 

 being extravagantly in, and others of being ri- 

 diculously out of fashion. Some are proud of 

 their humility. A Greek philosopher being at 

 a celebrated feslival saw some joung men of 

 Rhodes magnificently arrayed. Smiling he ex- 

 claimed " this is pride." Afterwards meeting 

 some Lacedemonians in a mean and sordid dress 

 he said " and this also is pride," 



JYew Printing Office. 



R 



THOMAS W. SHEPARD 



ESPi;CTFULLY inlbrms his friends and the pubb" 

 that he executes all kinds of 



Book and Job Printing, 



in the most fashionable maimer, and ou reasonabl 

 terms, at the Office of the New Engi.a.nd Farmi;b 



Rogers'' Building..u Congress Street. 



0:^ Entrance Nos. 4 and 11. , 



Husbandman and Houseivijc. 



FOR sale at the )3ookstore of Charles Ewer, No. 51 

 Munroe &. Francis, >'o. 4, Cornhill, and at tlii 

 Office:— The HUSUANDM.VN AND IIOUSEVMH: 

 being a collection of valuable Recipes and Uirectioie 

 relating to Agriculture and Domestic Economy. B 

 Thomas G. 1'esse.vde.\, Esq. Price 60 cents. 

 The folloxring notice of this work is txlrttcled from th 



Massachusetts Agricvllural Journal for June 18-2. 



"We have read it with attention, and think it wel 

 adapted to the use of farmers, who would not go to thi 

 expense of purchasing larger works. It is a coUectioi 

 of receipts, many of which are from high authority, an( 

 all of them, as far as they are accurate, calculated lb 

 daily and constant use. That errors should creep int. 

 such a work must be expected. The reci))es arc oliii 

 taken from such transient works, or sources, that i 

 would be impossible for the compiler to vouch for tliei 

 efficacy or exactitude— but still its use must be \'T) 

 great to the class of people fcr. whom it was princi|!:ill] 

 ml uded.'- August 3. 



