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NEW ENGLAND FARMER. 



BV T. C. FESSESDEK. 



" A merry heart doeth good like a medicine.''' 

 With mirth let us cherish our hearts, 



'Tis a precept by Solomon given, 

 And cheerfulness surely imparts 

 The temper best fitted for heaven. 



Among; all the numberless ways 



Ey which folly contrives to be wrong, 



There is none which more weakness displays 

 Than wearing a visage too long. 



Th' Omnipotent Donor designs 



That the gifts of His grace be enjoy'c! ; 



Hence, he that forever repines. 

 Had better be better eraploy'd. 



AVhen first was created our race, 



This earth for man's mansion was given, 



And shall he find fault with the place 

 To which hc"s allotted by heav'n ? 



'Tis a thing, I believe, understood, 



In which every sect is agreed, 

 This earth was declar'd to be good, 



And so in the Bible we read. 



<• Under Providence, tenants at will, 

 A fine habitation we hold ; 

 For us to be murmuring still 

 Is wicked, ungrateful and bold. 



Yet well-meaning people I've seen. 

 Who think true religion is shown 



By a sort of a woe-begone mein. 

 And a whining, conventicle tone. 



'Tis true, there's a season to mourn, 



As Solomon says — nt'ertheless 

 Our griefs should be manfully borne. 



And 'tis folly to cherish distress. 

 A train of diseases await 



On a heart that forever is sad. 

 And some, from a sorrowing state, 



Become irretrievably mad. 



That religion can never be true, 

 Which bows its disciples to eartli, 



For he that has heav'n in his view, 

 Has the best of all titles to mirth. 



With mirth then we'll cherish our hearts, 

 'Tis a mandate by Solomon given, 



For cheerfulness surely imparts 

 The temper best fitted for heaven. 



Terrify and teaze no person, not even your 

 most intimate friends, by fitlse reports, vexatious 

 jokes, or any thing v^hich can give them a mo- 

 ment's uneasiness. There are unpleasant reali- 

 ties enough in this world, v\'ithout adding un- 

 necessary and imaginary evils. 



Pleasure is very seldom found where it is 

 sought. Our brightest blazes of gladness are 

 commonly kindled by unexpected sparks. The 

 flowers that scatter the sweetest odours in the 

 path of life, generally grow without culture, 

 from seeds sown by chance. 



Plato has very sagaciously observed, •' that 

 of all the shipwrecks in which the human un- 

 derstanding is liable on the sea of ratiocination, 

 the most common is that of splitting on the rock 

 of false comparison, or similitudes." 



A noted tippler was asked if he would drink 

 a gill of rum, mixed in any m.inner that might 

 be i)rescribed ? He agreed to swallow it. It was 

 then mixed with a gallon of water, which he 

 soon drunk for the sake of the spirit. We are 

 frequently reminded of this, when we hear 

 a man speak a long time to deliver an idea 

 which might be conveyed in a few words. 



soon be published in London, to which City, w 

 understand, he purposes, in the course of th 

 next summer, proceeding. 



We have seen a stone the doctor extract 

 on the 18th inst. ; it weighs (independently 

 numerous fragments,) seven hundred and ninet 

 eight grains ; and its circumference measured 

 two opposite directions, five inches. The p 

 tient was well on the third day. 



Montreal paper. 



SELECTED loa THE NEW E.\GL.\M) FARMER. 



A man of science can do greater things in his 

 closet than a general at the head of an army, 

 or a king with the physical force of a nation at 

 his control. 



Men of buHlc arc not men of business. — There 

 is a kind of men who may be classed under the 

 name of bustlers, whose business keeps them hi 

 constant motion, but whose motion ahcays eludiLs 

 their business. They never can stand still, be- 

 cause they are wanted in some other place, and 

 are wanted in many places because they can stay 

 in none. 



Tiicro is an old maxim " Take care of the 

 pence, and the pounds will take care of them- 

 selves." But there are some who save pence 

 and throw away pounds. They will higgle with 

 a huckster half an hour for half a cent, and yri 

 squander away thousands of dollars in vain pa- 

 rade. Such men, and women too, arc truly 

 ■* penny wise and pound foolish.'^ 



February. — This is a cold short month of short 

 days ; yet it must not pass unimproved. Far- 

 mers should not be idle, though they can nei- 

 ther sow nor reap. Your horses, cattle, sheep 

 and hogs, demand unwearied attention. Do not 

 trust the boys to see wholly to them. Care 

 should be taken that they are all fed and water- 

 ed in proper season. Do not lie in bed too late 

 and keep them from their morning meal ; nor 

 stay at the tavern or store till a late hour, and 

 keep them from their evening allowance. Dry 

 stables will save much hay. Now draw you a 

 large woodpile, and thrash your grain before the 

 vermin devour it. How go your schools? Pa- 

 rents should visit them often, and encourgae 

 their children; and in these long evenings hear 

 them recite at home. Take up, too, some use- 

 ful paper; or Rollin's, Mosheim's, or Miker's 

 history. — Christian Almanack. 



On the 12th of November, a farmer's wif 

 of the name of Weischwall, at Wilkischken, 

 Prussia, poisoned, with arsenic, her daug'Btt« 

 ter, a girl of about 15 years of age, for fears! 

 would make it known that her mother sto 

 some geese. After the crime was discovere 

 she confessed that, two years ago she despatch* Et 

 her father-in-law in the same manner, to inhe 

 it the property sooner; and, five months ag 

 the husband of her eldest daughter, in order 

 marry her to a richer man. 



Important Improvement in Surgery. — Theybc- 

 mirfoi/c operation of Lithotomy (or the extrac- 

 tion of Urinary Calciila) is now reduced to a de- 

 gree of simplicity, almost incredible, by an in- 

 vention of W. W. Sleighs, Esq. M. R. C. .S. L. 

 and Lecturer in this City, on Anatomy, Physiol- 

 ogy and Surgery. We omit mentioning- partic- 

 ulars, except the following prominent feature? in 

 it, viz. that the skin is not touched with a knife ; 

 that the actual operation does not occupy the 

 eighth of a minute ; and (hat it is attended with 

 little if any more danger or pain, than blcedinv 

 in the arm. Thus an operation considered by 

 the most celebrated men of the day, as fraught 

 with the most eminent peril, and excruciating 

 suffering, will be rendered a.= simple as venesec- 

 tion. We further learn, that the operation as 

 originally conceived by him, was liable to man} 

 dilhculties, all which have been effeclually ob- 

 viated by certain measures devised by liim du- 

 ring the last twelve months consideration of the 

 subject, and without it cannot be undertaken 

 with safety. The Doctor, has as yet communi- 

 cated these means to no one ; but a treatise will 



A certain great man, whose purse was som 

 what better furnished than his noddle, emplo 

 ed some workmen to empty a fish pond — whi 

 one of them told him that he had found a peti 

 faction, [a piece of wood changed to the appea 

 ance of stone.] " Have you," said his wise ei 

 ployer, " then put it among the rest of the fish 



.1 Fat Story. — A certain man who was famo 

 lor the use of certain figures in rhetoric, call 

 hyperboles, or by some -a'hite lies, said that 

 knew a Mr. such an one, who by idleness a 

 high living, at length became so fat, and so he 

 vy, that he would shake an upright two sto 

 house, by voalking oi» tho hoUont. <tj' the cellar r 

 der it ! 



A certain farmer once complaining to 1 

 neighbor of his turnips, which had large toj 

 but small roofs, said that they were precise 

 like the infernal regions. " Why so ?" said 1: 

 friend. Because, replied the farmer, they a 

 bottomless. 



Unfortunate Case. — A zealous Priest in tl 

 north of Ireland, missed a constant auditor fro 

 his congregation, in which schism had alteai 

 made depredations. " What keeps our frien 



farmer B , away from us ?" was the an 



ious question proposed by our vigilant Minist 

 to his assistant. " I have not seen him amoi 

 lis," continued ho, "these three weeks : 1 hoj 

 it is not Protestantism that keeps him away." 

 " No," was the reply, " It is worse than that 

 — "Worse than Protestantism? God forbid 

 should be Deism." " No, worse than that."- 

 " Worse than Deism ! good heavens, I trust it 

 not Atheism !" " No, worse than Atheism !"- 

 '' Impossible, nothing can be worse than Ath 

 ism!" " Yes it is, your honor — It is Rhcumi 



A Quaker at Norwich (Eng.) having bougl 

 a horse which proved "uasound, of a gentlema 

 named Bncon, he wrote to inform Mm of it, bi 

 recaived no an.'swer. Shortly after, meeting th 

 seller at Norwich, he requested him to tak 

 back the horse, wliich the other positively r« 

 fused to do. Finding his remonstrances of n 

 avail, the Quaker calmly said, " Friend ! tho 

 hast doubtless heard of the devil entering th 

 herd of swine, and I find he still sticks iu th 

 Bocon. Good morning to thee, friend." 



