264 



x\EW ENGLAND FARMER, 



EV T. O. FESSF.XDE.V. 



ON THE LAUGHTER OF F00L5. 

 A bunch of thorns beneath a boiling pot, 



That flashes nith a deal of crepitation, 

 Is like a fool,* whose days arc spent in what 



Johnson would call a state of cachinnation. 



His features gliminer wilh some scurvy joke 



His wandering wits have long been s*eking after; 



Then flies his " bolt," succeeded by a stroke 

 Of thundering self-congratulating, laughter. 



Elated by each would-be witty thing 

 He has himself the happiness of saying, 



His throat and lungs so dissonaiitly ring 



You'd think his kindred animal was braving. 



And when some greater, and more noted dunce 

 Makes vain attempts at wit or repartee, 



His grinning faculties take fire at once, 

 And one fool echoes to another's glee. 



"There is contagion in a great man's mirth, 

 ' WKlch all must catch who would be tho't genteel ; 

 And when he says the silliest things on earth, 

 Salute him still with laughter's loudest peal. 



Tha3 when the leader of a flock of geese 

 Pipes to his cackling comrades, one and all, 



Es«h goose and goslin bids the din increase. 

 Till swells the concert with one general squall. 



Too many a " pretty looking'''' Miss I've seen. 

 Whose every word was prefac'd with a titter, 



And thought it strange, with beauty's air and mien, 

 The cap and bells of foolishness should fit her. 



Next to the villanous Sardonic grin, 



The heartless laugh of pride and affectation. 



To show white teeth, a dimpled check or chin, 

 Merits and meets the highest reprobation. 



I're not the least objection to a laugh, 



To chase the fiend of " loathed melancholy," 



But hate the lowing of a biped calf. 

 Whose laughter sounds the trumpet of his folly. 



E'en now and then a hearty ha, ha, ha ! 



Is well enough, in Chesterfield's despite, 

 But those who laugh, and cannot say what for, 



In my opinion act like idiots quite. 



* Eccksiusticus vii, 6. 



Providence never intended to make such a 

 difference between creatures of his hand, as 

 that some should live only to enjoy, vfhile oth- 

 ers lived only to be ministers of" enjoyment. — 

 Though in an advanced stage of society some 

 must be exempted from eating their bread with 

 the sweat of their brow, and be busied rather 

 in intellectual than manual labor, yet it is an 

 immutable decree that the oil of gladness shall 

 brighten the face of industry alone. 



The conversation of men of talents and in- 

 formation furnishes a delightful and prolilablc 

 .source of knowledge. In this way we may 

 avail ourselves of llwt intellectual wealth whicli 

 is more valuable than gold, and by tiie exchange 

 of ideas a sort of mental commerce may be 

 kept up, which enriches all the parties con- 

 cerned. 



The interests of agriculture, manufactures 

 and commerce are so inseparably connected 

 that any serious injury sulTered by one of them 

 must injure the others. 



From the ICmporium. 

 ITS ALL MOONSHINE. 



When I see a young man pursuing a gay but- 

 terfly of a girl because she is beautiful, though 

 she possesses none of the qualifications neces- 

 sary to make a good wife, a good house-keeper, 

 or a good mother — depend upon it he is grasp- 

 ing at a phantom — its nil moonshine. 



When I see pleasure hunters, and those who 

 are seeking after happiness, plunge into dissipa- 

 tion ; or seek gay and giddy company ; or drink 

 deep of the cup of sensual enjoyment, i feel 

 for them; I know the disappointmeut that 

 awaits them ; these are not the pearls of price, 

 that bring with them peace and content ; they 

 are worthless — they are nothing but moonshine. 



When I see a gambler forever running to the 

 billiard table, with eager hopes of making mon- 

 ey thereby, and carrying with him the means 

 by which his family can be supported, to squan- 

 der it there ; 1 think with a sigh how sadly that 

 poor man mistakes the path of wisdom, and la- 

 bors after that which is all moonshine. 



He is grasping at moonshine, who strives to 

 raise his consequence in the world by a suit of 

 fine clothes, or an unpaid for sideboard ; and so 

 he is who aims at building a foundation upon 

 which to elevate himself in the estimation of 

 the world, on a few thousand of paltry dollars ; 

 for, as Burns says, 



The rank is but the guinea's stamp — 

 The man'^s the gold for all that — 



and none can ever become truly great but those 

 whom nature has fitted to be so. 



These are plain palpable cases ; I have some- 

 times thought men were grasping at moonshine 

 too, who attempted to live by literature, or 

 make money by printing papers ; or dreamed 

 of collecting their debts or of receiving lega- 

 cies in these times ; yet as these may be doubt- 

 ful, 1 will not persist in them. 



Jlnoiher Caution. — Two children were one 

 evening last week nearly suffocated by inhaling 

 the vapor from a pan of burning coals placed in 

 a small bed chamber. During the absence of 

 the parents, the children were put to bed in 

 an apartment containing no fire place, about 

 half a peck of lighted charcoal placed there to 

 ~j:arm the room, and the door shut ! A slight 

 groan was accidentally heard by the only per- 

 son awake in the house, who hastened to the 

 chamber and found the youngest, about four 

 years old, in a state of insensibility and entire 

 prostration ; from which by the use of the most 

 active measures, he was not recovered until 

 more than half an hour had elapsed. The el- 

 dest was faint and speechless for about the same 

 length of time. Parents and others cannot re- 

 gard this fact with too much concern. There 

 is nothing more destructive to the vital organs, 

 than the mephitic effluvia which arises from 

 charcoal in a state of ignition. — JVantuckct huj. 



Amidst all the singularities of the Shakers, 

 they have some rules which it would be well 

 for people of all denominations to adopt : — " It 

 is contrary to order, or the gift, as they call it, 

 (says Professor Silliman, m his Tour,) to leave 

 any bars down, or gates open ; or leave any 

 thing they use out of its proper place ; conse- 

 quently they seldom have any thing lost. It is 

 according to the gift, or order, for all to ea- 



'51. 1 



deavor to keep all things in of4«r ; indolenc 

 and carelessness, they say, are directly opposii 

 to the gospel and order of God ; cleanliness i 

 every respect is strongly enforced — it is coatn 

 ry to order even to spit on the floor — A dirh ^ 

 careless, slovenly, or indolent person, they sa' 

 cannot travel in the way of God, or be re' 

 gious. It Is contrary to order to talk loud 

 shut doors hard, to rap at a door for admi 

 tance, or to make any noise in any respecl 

 even when walking the floor, they must 

 careful not to make a noise with their fee 

 They go to bed at 9 or 10 o'clock, and rise 

 4 or o. Every man and woman must be en 

 ployed, and work steadily and moderately. "- 

 Trifling as these rules may appear, tbei 

 adoption would have a very important effec 

 upon any household or community. 



■ei gin 



^hi 



Sparrows. — It has been ascertained, as near! iJv 

 as such things can be, that a pair of sparrow 

 destroy in one week, 3360 caterpillars. W 

 did not know before, but we should always re mel 

 member, the obligations we owe to these littl 

 favorites of heaven. 



Si I 



While the celebrated Mr. Dodd was balanLi 

 cing between his inclination to marry, and hi iii 

 apprehension that he would be unable to main 

 tain a family with his slender income, he hap 

 pened, on looking out of his window, to observ 

 a Hen, with a large brood of chickens, busil 

 employed in supplying them with food b_ 

 scratching, &c. This spectacle decided hi 

 mind in favor of matrimony. " If, thought he 

 this hen, who could barely, with her exertions 

 but a short time since, obtain a subsistence fo 

 herself, is now able to provide for her numei j, 

 ous offspring, surely 1 and mine will not be pei 

 raitted to suffer." 



Ki 



When Cowper was made Bishop of Gallo 

 way, an old woman who had been one of hi 

 parishioners at Perth, and a favorite, could no 

 be persuaded that her minister had deserted thi 

 Presbyterian cause. Resolved to satisfy her 

 self, she paid him a visit in the Canongate 

 where he had his residence, as Dean of th{ 

 Chapel Royal. The retinue of servants througl 

 which she passed staggered the good woman's 

 confidence ; and on being ushered into the room 

 where the Bishop sat in state, she exclaimed. 

 " Oh Sir, whafs this ?— And ye ha' really lefl 

 the guid cause, and turned prelate !" " Ja 

 net (said the Bishop,) I have got new light 

 upon these things." " So I see Sir, (replied 

 Janet;) for when ye was at Perth, ye had but 

 ane candle and now ye've got twa before ye ; 

 that's a' your new light." — (JirCrte's' Life of 

 Mchitle.) 



Tight Lacing. — It has long been a matter of 

 regret with persons of good sense and good 

 taste, that many of the females of this country 

 injure their health and real beauty of form, [as 

 the pressure generally forces out the parts un- 

 |)ressed] by the absurd practice of wearing 

 tight stays. The folly seems now to have 

 spread to the men, if indeed such blockheads 

 merit that a|)pellation. It is a fact that an ex- 

 quisite fainted away on Friday in Bond street, 

 and was ;issisted into a shop, where he was some 

 time before he recovered. Medical aid was 

 sent for, when it was ascertained that his stays 

 were too tight. — London paper. 



