96 



NEW EJ^tiLAND FARMER, 



Ost. 12, 1827. 



fKisccUam'cs 



Iler excellent sense made her understand the would train thcir^eas for purposes of defence, nc 



hint, and her excellent humour made her take it 

 in good part. She withdrew, changed her dress, 

 and returned in a plain robe. — " Ah ! 'tis she," 

 this is the very 



hostile foot would ever rest in that Province! 



CONFESSIONS OF AN ALBUM WRITER. 



I have written from first to last, in two hundred 



and forty-six Album.f. In two hundred .nnd nine- 'jgyfuHy exclaimed the Dean, 



!y-five of them, I have made love ovitright to the j woman I am come to see, and I expect to be very 



charming proprietors, though two thirds of thom i [j^ppy in lier company." 



excited no feelinfrs in my naturally cold and pas- — 



eionless breast. I have invoked blessings on the | Odddi/ no proof of ivisdom.— Some people affect 



heads of thirty-three, in the most fervent and af- ; to differ from mankind in general merely for the 



fectionate style, some of whom 1 have riot knnnnj purpose of obtaining notoriety, and with the hope 



an hour previous to my making the invocation ;] of being talked about. But those who seek dis- 



and I have complimented eighteen on their pos- 1 tinction in thia way, deserve nothing better than 



session of unrivalled worth, and c.s-altcd genius, ' the obsP.urity from which they are attempting to 



although to confess the truth, 1 knew as little a- j emerge ; and men of senso always conform to 



bout the matter as the man in the moon. Fifty] custom when they can do so without materid in- 



times I have sworn that tlsere is nothing in the ] convenience, or the sacrifice of any important 



world equal to a light blue eye, and fifty times I' principle. 



have sworn tliat nought in nature can compare! .- ' ,, , ■ j „r „,.;,lo ft>nt 



., J,,, I Ti •) i,,;„i,.l The Pride of lycallh. — Ot all knids ot pride that 



with a dark black eye. I Iiave praised bnnhi.! J "^ x nu j . • ,• i i , (T„„=.i„« 



~ , ,• c ■ L, ^ a ' I of mere wealth is most ndiculouj and oltonsive. 



>^eB for the sunny radiance of loy that fiooced "' ""^'^'^ wt-.uiu la muo , • , ^ 



,, . , ■ 1 .1 r 11 1 T 1 It commenv seizes on an unimproved mind, at an 



very thing on which they foil — and I have prais- "■ ^"'"»i|.'J' '^l _. ,.,. ,. ^ . ., .,■.„ 



, J. f .1 1- 11 1 1 u 1 ' advancSltienod ot li e, and IS marked by :;erviUty 



■'dim eyes for tiie moonlight and melancholy ; ''"^'"JW J . ' . „ . ... .. , 



Jat shone in their humid glances. I have vowed j '° ''"P< 



sometimes that tlie cheek from whose rich bloom ^ -• 



A rich farmer's son who had been bred at the 

 University, coming home to visit his father and 

 mother, they being one night at supper on a 

 couple of fowls, ho told them that by Logic and 

 Arithmetic, he could prove those fowls to be three. 

 Well, let us hear, said the old man. Why this, 

 said the scholar, is one, and this, continued he, is 

 two, two and one you know make three. Since 

 you have made it out so well, answered the old 

 man, your mother shall liave the first fowl, I will 

 have the second, and the third you viay kttp it: 

 yourself for your great learning. 



the rose might derive a fresli charm, was a thing 

 that I devoutly worsliipped — and at other times, I 

 have sneered at the vermillion cheek, and idolized 

 the snowy paleness of sensibility, whose tears had 

 been so often sled for the troubles of life, that 

 they had actually w^ashed all tlie red color from 

 the face. I have praised high foreheads for their 

 calmness, and low foreheads for their passion — F 

 have praised raven hair, auburn liair, chesniit hair 

 and red hair, and to my ineffable horror, I once 

 discovered that I had been eulogizing the ambro- 

 sial curls of a lady wiio wore a wig. I have land- 

 ed Grecian nest's, Roman noses and pug noses, 

 white noses and red noses, dimpled chins, double 

 chins, and piked cliins — straight eyebrows, and 

 arched eyebrows. The consequence of all this 

 has been that I have lost iny character for consis- 

 tency, not only in the estimation of others, but al- 

 so in my own. — I have had the reputation of be- 

 ing in love one hundred and ninety-five times, 

 though I conscientiously affirm, that I have not in 

 reality been in love with more than tixty-seven 

 different persons, and never with more than half 

 a dozen at once. All my flirts of fancy have been 



construed into serious declarations of passion I 



have narrowly escaped ten suits of breach of 



s, rudeness to inferiors, ostentation and 

 ^ence — extravagance in some things, 

 and i^arsiaiony in others. These propensities, 

 however, may be chocked by goodness of disposi- 

 tion, and a mind capable of expanding and adapt- 

 ino- itself to different circum.stancps and situations. 



Fine Arts. — It has been observed, we think, by 

 Dr. Priestly, that '• great excellence in any of the 

 elegant arts is an unfavourable circumstance to 

 youth, and except they be intended to exercise 

 those arts as a profession, a mediocrity is much 

 more desirable. A first rate musician can never 

 be any thing else, and an incomparable dancer is 

 generally a frivolous and superficial character." 



Language to Children. — Some parents, even 

 those who are wealthy and aspiring to style, in- 

 stead of endeavoring to inculcate in the infant 

 minds of their children a correct mode of speak- 

 ing, make use of an incoherent gabble, which a 

 conjurer can scarcely interpret. The consequence 

 is, ther children being disposed to learn the first 



Fruit Trees — jYeiv Arrangement. 

 The Hartford Linnean Botanic Association, invite the atten- 

 tion of llie pubhc to the subjoined list of Peach and Apricot 

 trees, of which they have a specimen of each variety. This 

 Society was incorporated by the Legislature of Connecticut, in 

 1825, with a capital of,?23,000; its primary object is the im- 

 provement of the Horticulture and Fruit of our country, by ex- 

 citing the attention lo those pleasing and interesting objects, 

 and by cultivating and introducing the most approved kinds of 

 fruit, of every description, adapted to the climate of the east- 

 ern and middle Slates, and also seeds of the most valuable cu- 

 linary plants. The Society have obtained about twenty acre^ 

 of ground in the vicinity oJ Hartford, for a Garden and Nurse- 

 ry, and commenced its cultivation with success, aflbrding a 

 pleasing promise of public usefulness. They havebeeu convin- 

 ced that the circumstance which perhaps more than all otlicrs, 

 has discouraged and retarded the more general attention to and 

 introdiioiion of choice frnit, (perhaps the only luxury in life not 

 attended with some injurious consequences) is the mortifying 

 disappointments which have been experienced in fruit trees, 

 proving to be entirely different and inferior kinds from tho8e,&r 

 which they were sold. To remedy this evil, and to encourage 

 the cultivation of choice fruit, they have adopted a new system, 

 which is. to take and exhibit samples of all the varieties of fruit 

 they cultivate, and to warrant the trees to be in conformity to 

 the samples. They now offer lo the public as the first fruits of 

 this infant Society, from 15 lo 20,000 Peach trees, including 

 some Apricots, which for variety and richness of the fruit, and 

 for thriftiness of growth, they venture to say have never been 

 surpassed in the United States. 



There are more than twenty varieties of Peach ; several of 

 which are new, and nearly all of which, they have samples ol", 

 thai may be examined at J. B. Russell's Office, No. 52, North- 

 Markel-street, who is Agent of the Society for Boston and its 

 vicinilv. 



more or less, during life. It wore well if parents 

 would recollect the importance of speaking to 

 children, and endeavouring to make them speak 

 in the language of correctness. This cannot be 

 promise, in which the only witness against me i eftected if they use, or sufier nurses or others to 



Great Sale of Wool. 

 On Tuesday the 16ih of October, the day preceding the 

 Brighton l-'air, at 10 o'clock, at the Hall over the New Market 

 will be sold, at Public Auction. 218 bales of Saxony Wool, con- 

 sislingoflst and 2d Electoral — 1st and 2d Prima Sccunda— 

 words they hear, acquire a silly and disgraceful I Tenia and Quarter, 

 dialect, which very often affects their speech. 



and abuses the faculties of infants. 



would have been Albums, and an unpoetical jury lyge that sort of baby talk which so often misleads 

 would have infallibly convicted me. I have been 

 called a purjured swain, a breaker of vows, a hy- 

 pocritical pretender, an unfeeling wretch, and 

 (horesco refercns !) a male flirt ! 



Dean Swift and the Farmer's tVife The cele- 

 brated Dean Swift had been so highly pleased 

 with the conversation and deportment of a farm- 

 er's wife, near Dublin, that he invited iiimself to 

 dine at her house, and sent her notice of the time. 

 The trial was rather too hard for her prudence. 



Elated with the idea of entertaining a guestwhose 



company was courtgri by the first nobility of the 



realm, she dressed herself as fine as her fingers 



could make her.anl in this rich attire received the 



Dean with stately ceremony. lie in his turn made 



his profound obeisance, and then instantly inquired 



for the fanner's wife. — "I am she! pray, Sir, don't 



jou know me?" You! no Madam, I wont be trick- 

 ed, the farmer's wife that I am come to see is a 



plain woman, but you look like a Dutchess." 



Extravagance. — Those who waste their income 

 by splendor in dross and equipage may be said to 

 resemble a city on_^re, which s/iines by that which 

 destroys it. 



Thief Outwitted. — A citizen missed two pounds 

 of fresh butter, which was to be preserved for 

 himself. The maid, however, had not only stole 

 it, but fastened the theft upon a cat ; averring, 

 moreover, that she caught her in the act of finish 



100 bales Spanish Wool, 



100 do. Portuguese do. 



150 do. Smyrna do. 



Also. 50,000 lbs. High Grade and Full Blood Fleece Wool. 



^^*The above Sale presents a favourable opportunity to 



growers and holders for disposing ol' their \\'ool, which wfil be 



ready at any time on or belbre the lOth proximo. 



%* Catalogues of the whole will be readj- for delivery, and 

 the Wool may be e.xamined the day previous to the sale. 



COOLIDGE, POOR &. HEAD, Auc'rs. 

 Boston, Sept. 28, 1G27. ___^ - 



Saxony Sheep. 



Oil THURSDAY Oct. 18 at 10 o'clock, 



The day succeedin.g the .-Vgncultural Fair. 

 .At Brighton, (near Boston) the entire flock of Electoral Saxonu 

 Slieep, imported in tlie ship Mentor, Capt. Mann, 

 from Hanilturg, consisting of 

 IGl ElfES and 21 R.iMS. 

 These Sheep were carefully selected by experienced agents 

 for account of a highly respectable House in Leipsic, and will 

 e found to excel any llock hitherto imported in regard to size 

 and weight of fleece, while they are not interior in any other 

 particular. The large proportion of £iiv.«. of the flnest quality, 

 nol procured witjiout much difficulty ; and, in general^ 

 - —-A arrant the expectauon that 



d widi, 

 such measures were taken a 



incr the last morsel. The wily cit immediately ' ""^ Hock «''''"'" sufef^y d'c most rigid scrutiny of persons 

 " . , ... . . ., 1 1 r 1 ■. . disposed to improve their slock by the introduction of pure Sax- 



weigh but a pound and a half! This city mode 

 of accurate reasoning being quite conclusive, the 

 ffirl confessed her crime. 



A person who meant to see the descent of tlie 

 Michigan, and lodged on the Canada. side of the 

 river, observed that if the British Government 



'I'he Sheep may be examined at Brighton, at any time before 

 the sale. ■ 



Catalogues will be ready for delivery at our office 20 days 

 previous — when Samples of the Wool will he exhibited. 



The .\genl pledges himself that none of the Stock will be 

 disposed of until tlie day of .-Xuction, when tlicv will all be sold 

 without reserve. COOLIDGE, POOR & HEAD. 



i'he Farmer is published every Friday, at $3.00 

 per Annum, or $2,50 if paid ia adrance. 



