24 



NEWENGLAND FARMER 



JtXY at, 1816, 



SMKS^m&^^mi?. 



DR CAUSTIC'S DELECTABLE. 



THB ESSENCE OF BEAUTV ALIAS A SONG OF SIMILES 



SOMEWHAT SUPER-snBLIMATED. 



My Tiibilha Towzer is fair, 



No Guinea-pig ever was neater ; 

 Like a liacmalac slender and spare, 



And sweet as a musk-rat, or sweeter. 



My Tabitlia Towzer is sleek, 



When dress'd in her pretty new tucker, 



As an otter that paddles the creek 

 In quest of a buU-pout or sucker. 



Her forehead, as smooth as a tray. 



Would decorate Venus's poll, 

 And turn'd, as a bndy may say, 



Like a delicate neat wooden bowl. 



To what shall I liken her hair, 

 As straight as a carpenter's line, 



For similes sure must be rare. 



When describing a nyrnph so divine. 



Not the head of a Nazarito seer. 

 That never was shaven nor shorn, 



Naught equals the lock of my dear 

 But the silk of an ear of green corn. 



My dear has a beautiful noso, 

 With a sled runner crook in the middle, 



Which one would be led to snppose 

 Was meast for the head of a fiddle. 



Miss Tabby has two pretty eyes. 

 Glass buttons shone never so bright, 



Their love-lighted lustre outvies 



The lightning-bug's twinkle by night. 



And ofl with a magieal glance 



She makes in my bosom a pother. 



When leering a leetle askance, 



She shuts one and winks with the other. 



The lips of my charmer are sweet 

 As a jug full of maple molasses, 



And the rubicund tint of her cheek 

 The gill of a salmon surpasses. 



No teeth like hers ever were seen 



Nor ever described in a novel, 

 Of a delicate kind of pea greenj 



And shap'd like a wooden shod shovel. 



Her fine little ears you would judge, 

 Were wings of a bat in perfection ; 



A dollar I never should grudge. 

 To put them in Greenwood's collection. 



Description must fail in her chin, 

 At least till our language is richer; 



Much fairer than ladle of tin, 

 Or beautiful brown earthen pitcher. 



So pretty a neck, I'll be bound, 



Never join'd head and body together. 



Like a long wry-neck'd squash on the ground 

 Well ripen'd by sun-shining weather. 



Should I speak of her gait and her air, 

 My simile should be the strongest, 



On three loco-motives my fair 



Seems to waddle — the middle one longest. 



Should I blazon the rest of her charms, 

 I might by some phrase that's improper, 



Give Modesty's bosom alarms. 



Which 1 would not do for a copper. 



She sings like a Syren, her voice 



Transports a man out of his senses ; — 



A pig will make just such a noise, 



When his hind leg stuck fast in the fence is. 



Macklin's ADVICE TO HIS SON. — I liave of\en 

 toM you that every man may be the maker or 

 inarer of his own fortune. I repeat the doctrine, 

 he who depends upon his incessnnt industry and 

 integrity, depends on patrons of the noblest and 

 most exalted kind ; tliese are the creators of for- 

 tune and fame, the founders of families, and can 

 never disappoint or desert you. They control all 

 human dealings, and turn even vicissitudes of any 

 unfortunate tendency to a contrary nature. You 

 have a genius, you have learning, you have indus- 

 try, at times, but you want perseverance, without 

 it you can do nothing. I bid you bear this motto 

 in your mind constantly, — 'persevere.' 



What 1 like to see. — I like to see women 

 out in the morning scraping up chips to build a 

 fire, and her husband in bed ; it shows that she 

 thinks more of him than she does of herself. 



I like to see merchants and mechanics keep 

 their shop doors and windows closed until the suu 

 is an hour high ; it shows that they are independ- 

 «nt, and ask no favors of their customers. 



I like to see young women walking the 

 streets on Sundays in their silks, with holes in 

 their stockings ; it shows that they are more at- 

 tentive to things above, than below. 



I like to see men crowding round the Bar-room 

 Monday morning before sunrise ; it shows their 

 an.xiety to get to their week's employment in good 

 season. 



I like to see women send their butter to market 

 in a dirty cloth ; it shows economy, us it saves 

 washing. 



I like to see men pay their debts on the back of 

 an execution ; it saves trouble hereafter. 



I like to see men when they make mistakes 

 have them always in their favor ; it shows they 

 wish to take care of number one. 



Above all I like to see young women stop a 

 whole co'igregation from going out of a meeting- 

 house, while they stand chattering in the aisle ; it 

 shows they mind their own business. 



NATIVE FOREST TREES. 



The subscriber will furnish Ihe following kinds of Native 

 Forest Trees from the vicinity of Bangor, Alaine, and ship 

 them carefully, according to orders, viz.: Silver Firs, (from 

 2 to 3 feel high) ; Elms, (from 5 lo 26 feet) ; Rock Maples, 

 (from 5 to 23 Icet) ; Mountain Ash, (from 5 lo 25 feel) ; 

 Spruce, Sumachs, Pines, and Cedars, Red Cherry, Sugar 

 plums, and Junipers. Also Seed of ibe above trees furnished 

 in llieir season. Any orders addressed to the subscriber, 

 Seedsman at Bangor, or left at Geo. C. Barrett's New England 

 Seed Store, Boston, will meet with pronpt attention. 



Bangor, May 2, 1836. WM. B. HARLOW. 



An Illinois paper — the Imp in the chair, pro- 

 tem — apologises for errors of omission and com- 

 mission, briefly thus: 



' The editor has been too busy the past week, 

 making love, to give us much of his presence.' 



'Will you lend Father your newspaper, Sir .' — 

 he only just wants to read it.' ' Yes^ my boy ; and 

 ask him to lend me his dinner ; I only just want 

 to eat it.' 



Kissing in Russia. — According to Mr L. Ritch- 

 ie, when a party assemble at dinner in Moscow, 

 the ladies on entering the drawing room kiss each 

 other vociferously, and the gentlemen hug each 

 other and do the same, except that the sound is 

 lost in their wilderness of beard. During the re- 

 past, the master and mistress on certain siguals 

 from the company, kiss each other till they are 

 ready to faint ; and on parting the visiters take 

 their leave with abundance of vows, kisses, and 

 thanks. 



CARROT SEED. 



For sale at the New England Seed Store, 250 lbs. very iqe 

 Long Orange Carrot Seed. Every farmer knows the value 

 of carrots as fodder for horses and cattle. It is calculated 

 that one bushel of them, is fully equal to one bushel of oats. 

 They produce on an average 500 bushels to the acre. 1 he 

 seed" may be sowu to the 20ih of June. May 18. 



COCOONS AND RAAV 6II.K. 



Thf: Northampton Silk Company, will pay Cash for Cocoor i 

 and Raw.Sik at their Establishment at the Oil Mill Place a 

 Northampton. 



The Cocoons should be str'pped of the tlrss, and placed in 

 the sun three or four days iii succession, to destroy the (.'hrys- 

 alis, and should not be packed for transportation till they have 

 been gathered ^hree weeks. If they are put up belore well 

 cured, the damp ness from the dead Chrysalis wih cause them 

 lo heat and render them useless. They should be carefully 

 packed in dry boxes or barrels — not pressed bul:^hakea down. 

 'I'he Company will contract for any quantity to 10,000 Imshcis, 

 to be delivered in good order at Northampion. Tlie price 

 will be regulated according to quality. Cultivators should be 

 aware that a loss of (ifty per cent is often made, by want of 

 attention in feeding. Consequently Ihe price will vary — from 

 S- 50 to g5 00 per bushel will be paid. It is Ihe inteulion of 

 the company, that this shall be a permanent market lor Co- 

 coons and Raw Silk. Cocoons will be purchased by the 

 pound, as soon as the necessary experiments have been made, 

 lo regulate the price according to the age of the Cocoons, as 

 it is well known, that they become gradually lighter lor several 

 months, till all moisture is evaporated. Culiivalors in Ver- 

 mont and New Hampshire will find it convenient to forward 

 Cocoons by the River Boats. 



Communications (post paid) may he addressed to 



SAMUEL WHITMARSH, 

 President oftlu Northampton Silk Compar.y, 



June 8. 



60 ACRES 



Of the best land in Roxbury, for sale, situated o;i Brush 

 Hill Turnpike, about 4. miles from tha city, near Grove Hall, 

 together with all the buildings thereon, comprising a conve- 

 nient dwelling house, 2 barns, one of which has a cellar, and 

 is capable of holding 100 tons of hay, with an inexhaustible 

 well of sof\ water contig *'ous — a mill house — corn bar i, sheds, 

 &c. — large, valuable orcnards of inoculated fruit trees of 

 alt kinds, — a nursery of young trees — gooseberries, currants, 

 &c. The land is well adapted to the growth^of the iViulberry 

 and'is accessible by two roads. For further partici lars en- 

 quire of Charles IMcIntire, No. 5, Exchange street, Be ston, or 

 of the subscriber on the premises. 



THOS. H. DARLING. 



Roxbury, May 23d, 1836. 



THE NE'W E]VGI.AarD FARIHER 



Is published every Wednesday Evening, at gS per annum, 

 payable at the end of the year — but those who pay within 

 sixty days frdtn the time of subscribing, are entitled to a de- 

 duction of fifty cents. 



\f7^ No paper will be sent to a distance without payment 

 being made in advance. 



AGENTS. 



New York — G C. Thorburn, 11 John-street. 



Albany — Wm . Thorburn, 347 Market-stiect. 



Philadelphia — D. * C. Lanubeth, 85 Chesnut-street. 



Saltiinore — Publislier of American Farmer. 



Cincinnati — S. C. Parkhijbst, 23 Lower Market-street. 



Flushing, N. Y. — Wm. Prince <^- Sons, Prop. Lin. Bot.Gar. 



Middlehury, Vt. — Wight Chapman, Merchant. 



West Bradford, Mass. — Hale& Co. Booksellers. 



Taunton, Mass. — Sam'l O. Dunbar, Bootsollcr. 



Hartjord — GooDWiN Sp Co. Booksellers. 



Netcburtjport — Ebenezer Stediuan, Bookseller. 



Portsmouth, N. H. — John W. Foster, Bookseller. 



Woodstock, Vt. — J. A. Pratt. 



Bangor, Me. — Wm. Mann, Druggist. 



Haiifax,N. S.— E. Brown, Esq. 



S^ Louis — Geo. Holton, and Willis & Stevens. 



PRINTED BY TTTTTIiE, IVEEKS & DENKETT, 



School Street. 

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