64 



NEW ENGLAND FARMER. 



Al'G. 33, 184 !. 



MISCELLANEOUS. 



CnfcJnsfino- Sermons. — Parson B., of L- 



Mass., waa what is commonly termed "a popular 

 preaclier" — not, however, hy ilrawin;; on his own J 

 stores, but hy the knack which he possessed of ap- 

 propriating llie thoui;lits and language of cele- 

 biated divines who had gone before l)iin, to his 

 own use, and by a skilful splicing and dovetailing 

 of passages, make a whole. Fortunately for him, 

 those who composed his audience were not deeply 

 skilled in pulpit lore, and with such he passed for 

 a wonder of erudition. It liappened, however, that 

 the parson was delected in hia literary larcencies. 

 One Sunday, a grave old gentleman seated himself 

 close to the pulpit, and listened with pr(.foiind at- 

 tention. The parson had scarcely finished his 

 third sentence, when the old gentleman said, in a 

 tone loud enough to be heard by those near him, 

 " That 'a Sherlock." 



The parson frowned, but went on. He had not 

 proceeded much farther, when his grave auditor 

 broke out with, "That's Tillotston." 



The parson bit his lips, and paused, but again 

 went on. At a third e.xclamation of, "That's 

 Blair," the parson lost all patience, and, leaning 

 over the side of the pulpit, " Fellow !" he cried, 

 " if you do n't hold your tongue, you shall be turn- 

 ed out." Without altering a mnscle, the old cyn- 

 ic, looking the parson full in the face, said, " That's 

 his own." — Sthcted. 



Where you ought to hare been. — A clergyman 

 who is in the habit of preaching in ditfcrent parts 

 of the country, happened to ba at an inn, where he 

 observed a hor>e jockey trying to lake in an hon- 

 est man, by impusing upon him a broken-winded 

 horse, for a sound one. The parson knew the bad 

 character of the jockey, and taking the gentleman 

 aside, told him t" be cautious of the person he was 

 dealing with. The gentleman finally declined the 

 purchase, and the jockey, quite nettled, observed, 

 "Parson, I had much rather hear you preach, than 

 see you privately interfere in bargains between 

 man and man, in this way." "Well," replied the 

 parson, " if you had been where you ought to have 

 been, last Sunday, you might have heard me 

 preach." " Where was that ?" inquired the jock- 

 ey. " In the State Prison," returned the clergy- 

 raan Selected. 



.1 Pig Outwitted. — Matthews, in one of his en- 

 tertainments, raises a henrty laugh, by telling the 

 following story of an Irishman driving a pig. Ani- 

 mals of this species are well known for their obsti- 

 nacy, and for their perseverance in endeavoring to 

 go any way but that which you wish them to take. 

 Matthews asked the Irishman where he was driving 

 the pig-' and the following colloquy ensued: 



"Spake lower, your honor — pray spake lower." 



"Why should I speak lower.' I only ask you 

 whither you are driving the pig" 



" Spake lowur." 



" What reason can you have for not answering 

 BO trifling a question ?" 



" Why sure, I would answer your honor any- 

 thing; but I am afraid the crathur'd hare me." 



" What then ?" 



"Then he'll not go; for I'm taking him to 

 Cork, but making him believe he is going to Fer- 

 moy !'' 



Cutting Retort. — Two gentleman, Mr D. and 

 Mr L., stood candidates for a seat in the legisla- 

 ture of New York. They were violently opposed 

 to each other in politics. By some artifice, AlrD. 

 gained the election. When he was returning 

 home, much elated with success, he met an ac- 

 quaintance, to whom he observed, "Well, I have 

 got the election : L. was no match for me. I'll 

 tell you how I flung him. If there happened any 

 Dutch voters, I could talk Dutch with them — and 

 there I had the advantage of him. If there were 

 any Frenchmen, I could talk French with them — 

 and there 1 had the advantage of him. But as to 

 L., he was a clever, honest, sensible little fellow." 

 " Yes, sir," replies the gentleman, "and there he 

 had the advantage of you." — Selected. 



HOWARD'S IMPROVED EASY DRAUGHT PLOUGH. 



Great irniirovemenis have hecn made the post year in 

 form and workmanship of these Ploughs; the niouM In 

 has lieen so formed as to lay the furrow complrteh, o 

 turning- m every parlide of ^rass or Hubble, and leavin" 

 g-roitnil in the best possible manner. The leiioih of 

 mould lioard has hs n very much increased, so llial i 

 Plough works wiih the greatest ease, l.olh wah respect 

 the holding and the team. The Commitlee al the late ti 

 01 Ploughs at Worcester, sav, 



" ^''"'l'/' ""'' "P'"'"" '"? !>sked as to which of the Plou' 

 we should prefer /or use on a farm, we might perhaps say 

 the inquirer, if your land is mosny light and easy to wc 

 try Prouty & Mears, hut if your lunclis heavy, hard orroe 

 BEGIN WITH Mr. Howard's.'' 



At the ahove mer.t;oned trial the Howard Plough , 

 more work trilh Ike same pmrer of team, than any ol, 

 plough exhibited. No other turned more than Iweni^s'se, 

 and one hjlf inches, to the lia Ihs. draught, while 

 Howard Plough turned twentynine and one'half inches 

 the same pouer of team ! All acknowledge thai Howar 

 Ploughs are much the strongest and most substantia 

 made. 



There has heen quite an improvement made on the sh 

 or land side of tins Plough, which can be renewed with 

 having to furnish a new landside: this shoe hkewise seen 

 the mould hoard and landside together, and strengthens 

 Plough very much. 



The price of the Ploughs is from S5 to Sl5. A Ploii 

 sutticient for breaking up with four cattle, will cost ah. 

 slO 50, aud with cutter Si, with wheel and cutter, S2 

 extra. ' 



The above Ploughs are for sale, wholesale and retail 

 the INew England Agricultural Warehouse and Seed St. 

 INos. 61 & 52 North Market Street hy 



JOSEPH BRECK & CO 



" I rise, sir, for information," said a very grave 

 member of a legislative body. " I am very glad of 

 it," said Mr F., "ybr no man tvants it more," 



CHKKSE PRF.SSES. 



"He's Cut a Dido." — It is told in history, that 

 Dido, a queen of Tyre, about 870 years before 

 Christ, fled from that place upon the murder of her 

 husband, and with a colony settled upon the north- 

 ern coast of Africa, where she founded Carthage. 

 Being in want of land, she bargained with the na- 

 tives fur as much as she could surround with a 

 bull's hide. Having made the agreement, she cut 

 a bull's hide into fine strings, and tying them to- 

 gether, claimed as much land as she could surround 

 with the long line she had thus made. The na- 

 tives allowed the cunning <iueen to have her way, 

 but when any body piayed off a sharp trick, they 

 said he had " cut a Dido ; ' and the phrase lias 

 come down to our day. — Selected. 



Cure for the Dysentery. — Boiled milk thickened 

 with flour, taken in the first stages, is in all com- 

 mon cases, an elTeclua! remedy. 



SELP-GOVERiVINGCHliESI2 PRESSES-two kinds 

 — lately improved by ttie Shakers. These arc so construct- 

 erl that they govern and regulate themselves without weights, 

 an.l are by fur the best presses now in us-'- 



Korsale at the N. E. Agricultural Warehouse, 51 and 52 

 .\orih Market street. JOS BRECK l<c CO. 



June 7, 1S43. 



GRINDSTONES OSr FRICTION ROl.1, ERS. 



Grindstones of different sizes, hung on friction rollers a 

 moved with a loot treader, is lound to be a great improi 

 ment on the old mode of hanging grindstones. Stones hii 

 in this manner are becoming daily more in use, and wherei 

 used, give universal satisfaction. The rollers can be atiac 

 ed to stones hung in the common way. For sale t.y 

 BRECK &- Co., No. 51 North -Market street. 



LACTOMETERS — a simple instrument for tesiii 

 the quality of milk. For sale by J. BRECK & CO. 



NEW ENGLAND FARMER. 



A WEKKLY PAPER. 



Terms, $3 per year i« advance, or $2 53 if not pa 

 within sixty days. 



N. B. — Postmasters are permitted by law to frank 

 subscriptions and remittances for newspapers, witht 

 expense to subscribers. 



TUTTLE AKD DENNETT, PRINTERS! 



81 School Street. 



