406 



NEW ENGLAND FARMER. 



Sept. 



A HOUSE BOUGHT AND A LAWYER SOLD. 



BY A COUNSELLOR AT LAW. 



I had a -wife and three small children. My of- 

 fice was in Boston, and we lived in an adjoining 

 town. I needed the exercise of riding, and a 

 drive now and then, toward evening, with my 

 family, would be good for us all. We had for- 

 merly lived in the country, where everybody 

 keeps horses, and a horse seemed really necessa- 

 ry to our comfort, and so I determined to buy 

 one. I had owned several horses in my day, and 

 knew something of horse-flesh, and I had been 

 engaged in several horse-cases in court; and of 

 course I knew, as every man of observation 

 knows, that horses are a dangerous commodity to 

 deal in. Being, however, forewarned, of course I 

 was forearmed, and being a lawyer, I felt no ap- 

 prehension that I could not look pretty well after 

 one side of a bargain. 



Before trying to buy an article, I always make 

 up my mind exactly what I want. Then I am not 

 misled by every foolish fancy, as one is liable to 

 be who looks through the market for something 

 that suits him. 



The horse I would buy must be a good saddle- 

 horse, a pacer or ambler under the saddle, but of 

 course a square trotter in harness. He must be 

 young and sound, of handsome, sprightly figure, 

 kind as a kitten, never needing the whip, but yet 

 safe for my wife to drive, not afraid of the engine, 

 fast or slow, at the driver's election. To be sure, 

 I had once heard our minister, when I lived in 

 the country, tell the only horse jockey in the par- 

 ish that he wanted just such a horse, and I had 

 heard the jockey's irreverent reply, "Why, you 

 — old fool, there aiid no such boss." Yet I had 

 heard of such animals, and seen them advertised, 

 and if I had not happened to see one that exactly 

 answered the description, it was probably because 

 I had not been looking particularly after him. 



When it became known that I was in want of 

 a horse, it was really amusing to see the attempts 

 made to deceive me. They evidently thought I 

 was a green hand at the business, and that I was 

 a fit subject for any imposition. 



One fine-looking animal was brought me, that, 

 to a careless observer, would have seemed nearly 

 perfection. He had a slight cough, but the own- 

 er assured me it was nothing only a little cold 

 the horse had taken the day before, by standing 

 in a draught. He could not deceive me ; I had 

 owned a horse with the heaves, years ago, and ad- 

 vised him to take his worthless beast to somebody 

 who did not know so much about horses. An- 

 other would have suited me exactly, but he had 

 several scars on his legs, caused, as the dealer 

 said, by breaking through the stable floor. I in- 

 quired a little, and ascertained that he had taken 

 fright, upset the carriage, and gone home, two 

 miles, on a dead run, with the forward wheels, 

 into his stall, carrying with him a hay-cutter and 

 a grindstone, that stood in the floor, and so had 

 cut himself to pieces trying to kick away the frag- 

 ments. 



Another had an interfering strap on his ankle, 

 having lately been badly shod. 1 saw through 

 that poor falsehood at once. 



I think I should have bought one of a dealer 

 whom I knew, and who assured me he would not 

 for the world deceive me, had not the singular 



animal exhibited the unfortunate eccentricity of 

 standing on his fore legs exclusively at intervals, 

 when I attempted to ride him outward from the 

 stable, owing, probably, to a defective nervous 

 organization. 



I determined to have no more to do with deal- 

 ers, but to keep a sharp lookout for myself, and 

 when I found the right kind of an animal to buy 

 him, even if I had to pay a high price. 



Walking one afternoon from Cambridge to 

 Somerville, I rested a moment by the hawthorn 

 hedge at the foot of Kirkland Street, and looking 

 back I observed a beautiful black horse, sur- 

 mounted by an elderly cadaverous gentleman, 

 who had somewhat the air of a clergyman. The 

 horse was moving at an easy ambling pace, 

 scarcely faster than a walk, the rein hanging 

 loosely on his neck, while the rider was serenely 

 reading a newspaper. In the language of the 

 free-love woman to "Artemus Ward at Berlin 

 Hites," I mentally exclaimed, "I have found him 

 at last." I accosted the traveller, and passing by 

 the details of our conversation, it is sufficient to 

 say that the animal was everything that could be 

 desired, and although it would well nigh break 

 the hearts of the owner's family to part with him, 

 he could be bought for the moderate sum of two 

 hundred and fifty dollars. 



It may be interesting to the reader, although 

 somewhat premature, to learn what I afterwards 

 discovered, that the owner's "family" consisted of 

 one bull-terrier pup which slept with him in a sta- 

 ble loft every night. 



I met the owner by appointment next day, at 

 my oflSce in Boston. He had been employed, he 

 said, as travelling agent of a Boston house, and 

 had no further use for the horse : he would give 

 me a written warranty of the animal as perfectly 

 sound and kind ; indeed I might take him home 

 a week, and try him, and see for myself. Nothing 

 could be fairer than this. I took my prize to my 

 own stable, I kept him a full week, I rode him 

 and drove him daily ; my wife rode him and drove 

 him ; my man Barney rode him and drove him. 

 My admiration of him increased. He was to all 

 appearance sound and kind. He was fast or slow, 

 as I chose to have him. He would face the cars 

 without winking, and stand without tying. In 

 s^ort he was a perfect horse. At the end of the 

 week I paid the price, took a written warranty, 

 and went home rejoicing in my success. Every 

 horse should have a name, and we concluded to 

 call this one, on account of his many good quali- 

 ties, Honesty. For a few days I was engaged 

 constantly in a long trial in court. The horse stood 

 still in his stable, well fed and well groomed, so 

 as to be in the best condition for use when my 

 leisure days should come. Barney said one day 

 that he had harnessed Honesty to the wagon to 

 bring home some oats from the store, and that he 

 refused for some time to start from the yard. 

 However, Barney was no horseman, and I thought 

 the fault was in his awkwardness in handling the 

 reins. A day or two later, my wife's brother took 

 her with the children out for a drive with Hon- 

 esty, in the carryall, and she reported that the 

 animal insisted on going up Beacon Street instead 

 of Tremont Street, where they wanted to go. 

 This did not seem exactly right, but still I had 

 full faith that Honesty would prove all right when 

 I held the reins. 



