308 RKLIGION. 



and I remember being heartily laughed at by several of the 

 officers (though themselves orthodox) for quoting the Bible as. 

 an unanswerable authority on some point of morality. I 

 suppose it was the novelty of the argument that amused, 

 them. But I had gradually come by this time, i.e. 1836 

 to 1839, to sec that the Old Testament was no more to be 

 trusted than the sacred books of the Hindoos. The question 

 then continually rose before my mind and would not be 

 banished, is it credible that if God were now to make a 

 revelation to the Hindoos, he would permit it to be con- 

 nected with the belief in Vishnu, Siva, &c., as Christianity is- 

 connected with the Old Testament? This appeared to me 

 utterly incredible. 



" By further reflecting that the clearest evidence would be 

 requisite to make any sane man believe in the miracles by 

 which Christianity is supported, and that the more we 

 know of the fixed laws of nature the more incredible do 

 miracles become, that the men at that time were ignorant 

 and credulous to a degree almost incomprehensible by us, 

 that the Gospels cannot be proved to have been written 

 simultaneously with the events, that they differ in many 

 important details, far too important, as it seemed to me, 

 to be admitted as the usual inaccuracies of eye-witnesses ; 

 by such reflections as these, which I give not as having 

 the least novelty or value, but as they influenced me, I 

 gradually came to disbelieve in Christianity as a divine 

 revelation. The fact that many false religions have spread 

 over large portions of the earth like wild-fire had some 

 weight with me. 



" But I was very unwilling to give up my belief ; I feel 

 sure of this, for I can well remember often and often inventing 

 day-dreams of old letters between distinguished Romans, and 

 manuscripts being discovered at Pompeii or elsewhere, which 

 confirmed in the most striking manner all that was written in 

 the Gospels. But I found it more and more difficult, with free 



