CHAPTER III 



A SUDDEN flood of memory has brought back to my 

 mind the why and wherefore of The Mums' deter- 

 mination that I, having been guilty of some particularly 

 reprehensible conduct, should suffer corporeally at the hands 

 of her mate, a punishment so well deserved, but which, as 

 stated, failed to materialize. 



It was in this wise. 



One day, Cousin Ted and I, having possessed ourselves 

 of about a pint of particularly juicy and well-developed lob- 

 worms, were conveying the same to the banks of the further 

 fish-pond, when we chanced upon the under-gardener taking 

 his well-earned mid-day siesta beneath the shade of a spread- 

 ing chestnut tree. 



Although we held the head gardener in awe and some 

 respect, this subordinate was ever a mark for our practical 

 jokes. He was a bucolic ancient of the typical home-country 

 breed, whose life was rendered a burden to him by reason of 

 our unrelenting pranks. There he lay, with his mouth wide 

 open, and insulting the harmonies of nature with his raucous 

 snoring. 



He was asking for trouble, and he got it ! 



" Go on, Ted, drop a lob in his mouth/' I urged. 



No sooner said than done ! The squirming of the reptile 

 in its unaccustomed surroundings awakened the sleeper, who 

 closed his toothless gums with a snap. As soon as he was 

 wise to what had befallen, he spluttered out : 



' Thish is too bar' o' you, Masr' 'Ardin' I shan' swallow 

 it, an' I shan' spir' it out. I sh'll jis' wait until yer pa comes 

 'ome and show 'im war'r you've done." (Translation : " This 

 is too bad of you, Master Harding ! I shan't swallow it and 



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