A Sportsman at Large 39 



I could only congratulate myself on having put up a good 

 show, but I and my pard were seven-and-six down, desperately 

 thirsty, and not a mag left to expend in ginger-beer ; so we 

 had to cadge around among the other members of the team, 

 in order to lubricate our parched throats. 



I looked to making a mighty mark the following year, 

 but meanwhile Messrs. Holmes and Bull (known respectively 

 among the boys as " Skipper " and " Mishter Bullsh " the 

 latter on account of his imperfect pronunciation of " st ") were 

 seized with a brain-wave which turned out disastrously. 

 They decided on scrapping the good old Long Sneider and 

 adopting a horrible weapon the Short Martini (converted). 



Not only did this beastly contraption administer a kick 

 which would have done justice to a petulant camel (the 

 Arabs say that a man can recover from anything save the 

 kick of one of these "grousing" and ill-conditioned beasts), 

 but was terribly inaccurate. At two hundred yards the 

 defect was not so noticeable, but at five hundred yards it 

 was only too obvious. 



I struggled against adversity and gun headache for some 

 time, but at last determined to abandon so hopeless a pro- 

 position. Good Sergt. -Major Gilder was in despair. When 

 the contest for the Ashburton Shield came round again, 

 Harrow was conspicuous " down the course." "So I had 

 reason," as my French ancestors were wont to assert. 



I then turned my attention to cricket, a game to which 

 ever have I had a leaning. I played for my House, and 

 made some show as a bowler and as a safe and quick " holder " 

 in the short field especially point ; but it was not until the 

 " Shell "in which I then was played the " Fifth " that I 

 made a real stir, for in that classic contest / took nine wickets 

 for two runs ! This led to a trial for the School, but my 

 hoped-for brilliance with the leather must have been a mere 

 flash in the pan, for I quite failed to " produce the goods " 

 when called upon. Incidentally, I may mention, that as a 

 Harrow batsman, I was the veriest of "rabbits" ; but in later 

 days, when the School-on-the-Hill and Alma Mater were left 

 far behind, I entirely lost the art of trundling, but became a 

 hefty wielder of the willow, and made some very respectable 



