26 TRANSACTIONS OF THE 



bodied men ! whereas China and India have about two hundred 

 and fifty millions only ! 



The old seven wonders of the world have lasted long enough; 

 they are filed away on the top shelf. All of them combined do 

 not equal the smallest of our modern wonders. So universal is 

 our knowledge of this fact, that there are left " none so poor as 

 to do them reverence." They with the other grand obsoletes, 

 Jupiter & Co., poor Vulcan, prince of blacksmiths for ages, had 

 credit enough to be admitted to the parlors of the gods, who, 

 rowdy-like, roared with laughter as they saw the immortal black- 

 smith walk across the carpet, one leg being too short, giving him 

 an up and down motion. Po-ipnu-on., as Homer says, nodding 

 foot. Why, Vulcan would not be trusted to blow the bellows in 

 any of our great iron works, which turn out in a day's work 

 more than he could with all his help in a year, and better work 

 too. And as to the rest of these gods, if those rowdies were here 

 now a days, Venus would be committed to the penitentiary; 

 Mercury, for cheating, to the Sing Sing prison; Mars, State 

 prison for life; Juno, to the horse-pond for scolding; Cupid, to 

 the House of Refuge; and Jupiter, put under the care of a re- 

 ceiver. 



One hundred years ago an eccentric Englishman, being in 

 Rome, viewed the statues. When he had examined that of Ju- 

 piter, he made him a low bow, hat off, saying, " Sir ! you see I 

 am polite to you in your adversity, I hope that you will remem- 

 ber it, if you ever get into power again." 



There is a great sign in the Eastern heavens — all the hide- 

 ous false gods of China and Hindostan are shaking their wooden 

 heads and trembling on their feet of clay at the coming of the 

 Bible and true science, with lightning for its messenger. Those 

 monkey isms of the last 4,000 years, their Juggernaut, Crema- 

 tion, and all their horrid mummeries, which cannot endure the 

 lights of Christianity and science, are about to be added to the 

 mass of our old Western lumber, the gods of the Pantheon, for 

 science is now putting the lightning band around the whole earth. 



