AMERICAN INSTITUTE. J^ 



years ago, that were ignited by a philosophical poking of a wooden 

 bodkin into a nest of acidulated cotton 1 



He arrives at the awakening of a Yankee alarm clock, to throw 

 open the outer shutters by pressing an inner spring. The vapors 

 of sleep pleasantly disappear before the perfumes which chemical 

 skill has transplanted from o, score of parterres to his toilette table. 

 Dentists have sent him a coral reef of tooth paste for his sleep- 

 parched mouth ; or, if he be a man of middle age, have enabled 

 him to ring the bell, "bidding the waiter bring him a fresh Auro- 

 plastic masticator." Majestic hairbrushes electrify his ambrosial 

 locks. A beard of hereditary stubbornness yields to the seduc- 

 tive approaches of dainty creams. Pliant bathing utensils invito 

 the ablutions prized of 'gods and men.' He attires himself in 

 linen, glossy from patent mangles, smoothed by patent sad-irons, 

 and buttoned with self-adjusting clasps. Anti-consumptive sus- 

 penders are cased beneath a vest with an elastic back. Seamless 

 slippers have coaxed his feet, and a gas stove, lighted by electri- 

 city, has warmed his dressing-room, upon a raw morning, to the 

 temperature of May. 



Descending to the breakfast-room, the Hebe of the apartment 

 has taken the silver from the ornamental safe, and spread it upon 

 the magical extension table. The meal is prepared. Positively 

 the very newest coffee-pot has supplanted the old Parisian toy. 

 The butter has been Avinner in a 2.40 heat, under pressure of an 

 air-pressure churn. Soapstone warmers embrace the Yankee 

 plates. The eggs for the omelette, after having been proved in 

 the detector, or oonoscope, have been beaten by the elliptic whirli- 

 gig ; or, they were poached into the novel drop, and are to be 

 eaten from Columbian glass, that need not blush beside Bohemian 

 or Venetian. Condensed milk has amicably mingled with pre- 

 pared cocoa, to be drank from cups decorated within a mile of the 

 residence. The beefsteak has arisen from its procrustean bed of 

 late invention. The bread has been kneaded by machinery, and 

 baked in a patent oven. Steam had packed the flour barrels and 

 made the staves. Marvellous mill power had presided at the 

 grinding and bolting. The grain was reaped, and threshed, and 

 fanned by three varied combinations of steam, that the season 

 previous, by still another form, had puffed through furrows, 'over 

 the hills and far away.' His breakfast over, Betty usurps with 

 the patent carpet sweeper. He retires to a library easy chair, 

 that would have comforted a martyr fresh from the inquisitorial 

 rack. There, he consults the Beaumont barometer, and settles 



