08 MEMOIR OF GEORGE WILSON. CHAP. II. 



"EDINBURGH, August Id. 



" MY DEAR MARY,- -The mystery of the essay shall be made 

 known to you, and that which cost me so much trouble to con- 

 ceal, and so many equivocations to keep secret, shall now be 

 fully made apparent to you. 



" The essay was written to compete for a medal given by Dr. 

 Graham, but I have been unsuccessful, and the unwearied 

 labours of nearly two months, and the fond anticipations of 

 three, have been disappointed. Seven essays, a much larger 

 number than usual, were given in, and two students unknown 

 to me obtained both prizes. The morning on which they were 

 decided was excessively stormy ; but, nothing daunted, I trudged 

 on to the garden. As the period which was to decide the matter 

 drew near, I became, of course, very anxious ; but when Dr. 

 Graham read out the motto, and I saw that all hope was over, 

 my heart, which had been throbbing violently, became as calm 

 as that of a young babe. I quietly listened to all he said in 

 praise of the successful competitor, and when the ceremony was 

 over, I arose, habited myself with firm, stoical apathy, and 

 trudged home, ' chewing the cud of bitter fancy,' and all that 

 day I dedicated to calm, sober, thoughtful meditation on the 

 decision of the morning. I was cast down, but not despairing ; 

 distressed, but not hopeless ; and in vain did I look back on it 

 as a reality. It appeared but as some horrible dream which has 

 scared away the quiet slumbers of midnight, leaves behind it no 

 forcible recollection of what was the cause of horror, but a dim, 

 confused spectre-like remembrance of some unusual occurrence, 

 which excited feelings of no pleasant description. It is now, 

 then, decided ; and the gold medal which in imagination hung 

 before me, for which I deprived myself of rest, and leisure, 

 and summer walks, and the company of those I loved, has passed 

 away to reward the labours and talents of another aspirant for 

 fame. 



" But although thus far I have been disappointed, there is 

 much to mitigate regret ; the successful candidate is a much 

 older student than 1 am. I gainsay not his talents, and do not 

 know him in the least ; but from anything I have heard, he is 

 a talented, clever young fellow ; and what is of far more im- 



