1838-30. ADVENTURES OF A HAT. 197 



the idea that it went up among the stars, and forms a new con- 

 stellation. It would probably settle upon the locks of Berenice, 

 whose tresses have too long ' wantoned in the wind' not to feel 

 glad of such a covering. You remember who taught us about 

 ' Coma Berenices.' I'll speak to the Astronomer-Koyal when 

 I'm in London, and set him to point his telescope in that direc- 

 tion. It would quite suit Sir James South for a new letter in 

 the Times. Well, I got a new hat, and thought to treat it 

 handsomely ; but one day, in Princes Street, it took advantage 

 of a favouring gale to bounce off my head, and after rattling 

 along, to the great delight of the lookers-on, for nearly a division, 

 was captured, with a compound fracture of the upper edge. A 

 cap doctor (not a capped one), by means of a ligature, healed the 

 breach ; but, as I can assure you, it was never the same since. 

 This injury to its upper storey deranged its intellects ; and the 

 consequence, the fearful consequence was, that when I was 

 seduced by John Mven into entering a bathing coach, two days 

 ago, my hat took advantage of my head not being in it to rush 

 with insane energy into the waters. Nor was this enough, for 

 not content with suicide, it strove to commit murder by dragging 

 in with it my inoffensive gloves. After being two or three times 

 overwhelmed among the waves, and battered on the steps of the 

 machine, it was dragged out, carefully wiped, and being planted 

 on my head (which it kept cool) it dried as I walked up, 

 doubtless to the great delight of the passers-by. John Niven's 

 hat, actuated by a generous impulse, bolted in after it, but it 

 suffered little, having been quickly rescued by its vigilant 

 master. I must have a gossamer at three-and-ninepence." 



The next letter says, " I have offered myself as a lecturer for 

 the Philosophical Institution here ; but I fear all chances are 

 gone there. They propose to let the Association lie dormant 

 for a couple of years, and give the folks time to digest what 

 they have learned. In truth, last winter did not get on swim- 

 mingly, owing to the absence of popular speakers, and they do 

 not wish to try it again. However, I was told by the Secretary 

 and Treasurer that if I gave them in a syllabus of my proposed 

 course, they should give it every attention ; this I shall do. 

 Failing this, I shall lecture somewhere else, write papers, teach 



