1810-42. PROSTRATE IN BED. 277 



reply that I am obliged to abandon both. My foot, which was 

 pretty well when you were here, has daily been growing worse ; 

 and yesterday I was informed by Professor Syme that I must 

 abandon all active exertion, and prepare myself for the tender 

 mercies of the surgeon. Accordingly, I am returning the pupils 

 their fees, and in ill health and debt retire from the struggle. 

 My only consolation is, that I have done all I could do, and 

 have fought against difficulties till courage and patience would 

 avail no longer. Had I known how seriously my foot was af- 

 fected, I should never have begun, and I have greatly aggravated 

 my complaint by persisting in working when I should have been 

 prostrate in bed or on the sofa. To that I am reduced now, 

 having yesterday concluded arrangements for relinquishing 

 teaching. Even had the doctors not insisted on it, I could not 

 have carried on longer. I was perfectly helpless, could not put 

 my foot to the ground, and had to be carried up and down stairs 

 on every occasion. I lectured standing on one foot, and had to 

 use a crutch when I attempted locomotion unaided. Within 

 the last week, however, the pain has greatly increased ; become, 

 indeed, perfect torture ; and I rest or sleep in one unchanging 

 and unchangeable position. When not in motion, however, the 

 pain lulls, and perfect rest, with surgical aid, I hope wdll soon 

 abate it, and lead to amendment. 



" At present, however, just struck down unexpectedly from 

 all my hopes, I cannot look hopefully to the future, and must 

 recover the stun and shock of my fall before I become alive to 

 all the comforts that yet surround me. But know this, at least, 

 for your consolation, that, though often despondent, I do not re- 

 pine, and do never seek enviously to contrast my own position 

 with that of others. This much of peace of mind God has 

 granted me, and I trust he will vouchsafe patience and courage 

 to bear all that is sent me. I believe that, even for this world, 

 all noble characters are perfected through suffering ; and in that 

 spirit I try to endure all things. But flesh is weak, and I know 

 this too well to vaunt anything at present. 



" Meanwhile excuse the sombreness of this letter, and do not 

 distress yourself for me. You cannot assist me but with your 

 sympathy, and on that I count to the fullest already. 



