1842-43. INTENSE ANGUISH. 297 



I underwent cannot be expressed in words, and thus fortunately 

 cannot be recalled. The particular pangs are now forgotten ; 

 but the black whirlwind of emotion, the horror of great dark- 

 ness, and the sense of desertion by God and man, bordering 

 close upon despair, which swept through my mind and over- 

 whelmed my heart, I can never forget, however gladly I would 

 do so." 1 



The object in recalling such painful emotions was to make 

 them an argument for the use of anaesthetics, which, had they 

 been then in use, would have robbed this experience of the 

 greater part of its horrors. 



The operation was an interesting one in the annals of surgery. 

 He says to James Eussell shortly afterwards, " I do not wish to 

 trouble you with surgical details, but you will be glad to know 

 that the operation I underwent was a novel one (tried on me 

 by Professor Syme for the second time only), which leaves me 

 the whole leg, depriving me only of the foot. It was more 

 protracted and painful than the ordinary one, but it leaves me 

 a more useful limb ; and the doctors hold out the hope of my 

 being able to limp about with a wooden foot, or stuffed high- 

 heeled boot, without betraying to every eye the amount of my 

 loss." 



A time of miserable suspense followed, from the fear that his 

 strength was too far gone to rally ; and quiet being enjoined, for 

 days there seemed not a sound in the house. The rather 

 secluded square in which he resided was a special haunt of 

 musicians, whose barrel organs, Irish bagpipes, and violins, 

 might have enabled one to tell the day of the week, had other 

 means of discovering it been wanting ; for each day failed not 

 to bring its own train, week by week. Strict watch was kept 

 over them, and they were induced, by bribes, to pass out of 

 hearing. And in this night of darkness, the devotion of friends 

 shone out like stars, in a way never to be forgotten. In one 

 family, when the sad news was announced, dinner was removed 

 untouched that day ; and whispered inquiries were made with- 

 out ceasing at the house door. In a diary of James Eussell's, 

 we find the following entry on the 1 6th of January, illustrative 



1 Letter to Dr. Simpson. 



