1853. FINDS HIMSELF FORTY. 451 



and I had three troublesome law cases to work at, and a sketch 

 of Edward Forbes's Life to write for the Eoyal Society of Edin- 

 burgh. It is a chapter of the book at which I am now working, 

 and proposing to work at till it is finished. I find it, however, 

 so painful a task, that again and again I put it aside. Now I 

 can look more calmly at the mournful histoiy, and I have much 

 profitable reading for it in botany, geology, and physical geo- 

 graphy. . . . 



" Time in these telegraph days keeps up with the o^uickest of 

 electrical flashes. Did I not awake one morning in February, 

 and find myself forty ? It is a desperate age for all the good 

 one has done, and I say to myself, ' Had I known I should have 

 lived so long, I would have done a great deal more.' And yet, 

 would I ? Perhaps much less, little as it is. ... I finished, a 

 week ago, my third course on Technology. I have changed the 

 subject each year, and have now completed (?) the round of 

 vegetable, mineral, and animal industrialism, and know my 

 ground. There are fearful gaps to fill up, and a thousand things 

 to learn, but I have had some of the same men all the three 

 years, and have interested even soap-makers in soap-making. 

 But all this is shockingly egotistical. The meaning is, that we 

 have a vocation, and will do our best in it. ... Have we not all 

 of us a thousand reasons for thanking God that He has been so 

 merciful to us, and that He has given us so much occasion for 

 gratefulness ? . . . We are in the hands of God, and know that 

 our Eedeemer liveth, and that our life is hid with Christ in God. 

 I have been thinking a great deal about these things lately, and 

 with many reproaches, striving to live nearer the Unseen." 



