1282 Ten Years of my Life. 



though I killed one next day, when the batiue was continued. 

 1 remained until one o'clock" p.m. on the grounds, when the 

 ladies came to look at the battue. As it was very cold and 

 the snow very deep, I returned with them to the Castle. 



Next day, being the last in the year, we went skating in the 

 morning, and remained together in the evening until New 

 Year. I went to my bed very sad and with a very heavy 

 heart, for I could not anticipate anything good for the New 

 Year. 



It is true Salm's wishes had been gratified ; he was in a posi- 

 tion in the army of which he was proud ; we had a little home ; 

 society treated us as well as could be, and their Majesties and 

 the whole Royal Family received us in a manner which affected 

 me very much and raised the envy of many. In other respects 

 we were not to be envied, however, for our position and our 

 means to maintain the same were out of all proportion. 



Though I am not of an envious character, I could not re- 

 press some bitter feelings, looking on the difference between 

 us and other members of our family. I was not indifferent to 

 the social advantages derived from the high title we bore, but 

 I could not be blind either to its disadvantages, circumstanced 

 as we were, and which made it almost a derision. My sense 

 of justice revolted against the law which treated two brothers 

 so differently. Whilst one lived in a magnificent castle, sur- 

 rounded by some square miles of broad acres belonging to him, 

 and yielding him a large rent-roll, the other had scarcely so 

 much a month as cost sometimes one dinner at his brother's 

 castle. This brother was indeed a good and kind brother, but 

 still it was hard to depend on his good will, and, moreover, he 

 had a large family. 



This feeling of injustice was atill increased in comparing the 

 merit of my husband with that of other members of his family. 

 A long time ago their ancestors had been men of fame ; but 

 since two centuries there was scarcely one amongst them who 

 had done anything worth the notice of the world, whilst my 

 husband at least had won fame for himself. 



He was a Prince, like his brother, and it was expected of 

 him that he should live according to his title, whilst tThe san^e 

 laws which gave it him deprived him of the means to sustain 

 it. In this respect the English custom seemed to me far more 

 reasonable. There only the head of the family has the title 



