1860 SCIENCE AND THE CHURCH OF ENGLAND 319 



gave me a resting-place independent of authority and 

 tradition. Thirdly, love opened up to me a view of the 

 sanctity of human nature, and impressed me with a deep 

 sense of responsibility. 



If at this moment I am not a worn-out, debauched, 

 useless carcass of a man, if it has been or will be my fate 

 to advance the cause of science, if I feel that I have a 

 shadow of a claim on the love of those about me, if in the 

 supreme moment when I looked down into my boy's 

 grave my sorrow was full of submission and without 

 bitterness, it is because these agencies have worked upon 

 me, and not because I have ever cared whether my poor 

 personality shall remain distinct for ever from the All 

 from whence it came and whither it goes. 



And thus, my dear Kingsley, you will understand 

 what my position is. I may be quite wrong, and in that 

 case I know I shall have to pay the penalty for being 

 wrong. But I p can only say with Luther, " Gott helfe 

 mir, Ich kann nichts anders." 



I know right well that 99 out of 100 of my fellows 

 would call me atheist, infidel, and all the other usual 

 hard names. As our laws stand, if the lowest thief steals 

 my coat, my evidence (my opinions being known) would 

 not be received against him. 1 



But I cannot help it. One thing people shall not 

 call me with justice, and that is a liar. As you say of 

 yourself, I too feel that I lack courage ; but if ever the 

 occasion arises when I am bound to speak, I will not 

 shame my boy. 



I have spoken more openly and distinctly to you than 

 I ever have to any human being except my wife. 



If you can show me that I err in premises or conclu- 

 sion, I am ready to give up these as I would any other 

 theories. But at any rate you will do me the justice to 

 believe that I have not reached my conclusions without 



1 The law with respect to oaths was reformed in 1869. 



