TWO DIANAS IN SOMALILAND 9 



develops on board ship to an abnormal extent. They 

 invariably contrive to get toothache or lumbago just 

 as they cross the gangway to go aboard. This is all 

 preliminary to securing the lower berth with some 

 appearance of equity. What does it matter that the 

 wife detests top berths, not to speak of the loss of 

 dignity she must endure at the idea even of clambering 

 up ? Of course the husband does not ask her to take 

 the top berth. No husband can ask his wife to make 

 herself genuinely uncomfortable to oblige him. He 

 has to hint. He hints in all kinds of ways — throws 

 things about the cabin, and ejaculates parenthetically, 

 " How am I to climb up there with a tooth aching like 

 mine ? " or " I shall be lamed for life with my lumbago 

 if I have to get up to that height." 



Having placed the wife in the position of being an 

 unfeeling brute if she insists on taking the lower berth 

 for herself, there is nothing for it but to go on as 

 though the top berth were the be-all of the voyage and 

 her existence. 



" Let me have the top berth, Percy," she pleads ; 

 " you know how I love mountaineering." 



" Oh, very well. You may have it. Don't take it if 

 you don't want it, or if you'd rather not. I should 

 hate to seem selfish." 



And so it goes on. Then in the morning, in spite of 

 comic papers to the contrary, the husband has to have 

 first go-in at the looking-glass and the washing appa- 

 ratus, which makes the wife late for breakfast and 

 everything is cold. 



Cecily and I shared a most comfortable cabin amid- 



