26 MR. SPONGE'S SPORTING TOUR. 



is not half so accommodating ; neither is money on mortgage. 

 What with time spent in investigating a title, or giving notice to 

 " pay in," an industrious man wants a second loan by the time, or 

 perhaps before he gets the first. Acres are not easy of conversion, 

 and the mere fact of wanting to sell implies a deficiency some- 

 where. With money in the funds, a man has nothing to do but 

 lodge a power of attorney with his broker, and write up for four 

 or five thousand pounds, just as he would write to his bootmaker 

 for four or five pairs of boots, the only difference being, that in all 

 probability the money would be down before the boots. Then, 

 with money in the funds, a man keeps up his credit to the far end 

 — the last thousand telling no more tales than the first, and mak- 

 ing just as good a show. 



We are almost afraid to say what Mr. Waffles' means were, 

 but we really believe, at the time he came of age, that he had 

 100,000Z. in the funds, which were nearly at "par" — a term 

 expressive of each hundred being worth a hundred, and not eighty- 

 nine or ninety pounds as is now the case, which makes a consider- 

 able difference in the melting. Now a real bond fide 100,000?. 

 always counts as three in common parlance, which latter sum 

 would yield a larger income than gilds the horizon of the most 

 mercenary mother's mind, say ten thousand a-year, which we 

 believe is generally allowed to be " v — a — a — ry handsome." 



No wonder, then, that Mr. Waffles was such a hero. Another 

 great recommendation about him was, that he had not had time 

 to be much plucked. Many of the young men of fortune that 

 appear upon town have lost half their feathers on the race-course 

 or the gaming-table before the ladies get a chance at them ; but 

 here was a nice, fresh-coloured youth, with all his downy verdure 

 full upon him. It takes a vast of clothes, even at Oxford prices, 

 to come to a thousand pounds, and if we allow four or five 

 thousand for his other extravagances, he could not have done 

 much harm to a hundred thousand. 



Our friend, soon finding that he was " cock of the walk," had 

 no notion of exchanging his greatness for the nothingness of 

 London, and, save going up occasionally to see about opening the 

 flood-gates of his lortune, he spent nearly the whole summer at 

 Laverick Wells. A fine season it was, too — the finest season the 

 Wells had ever known. When at length the long London season 

 closed, there was a rush of rank and fashion to the English water- 

 ing-places, quite unparalleled in the " recollection of the oldest 

 inhabitants." There were blooming widows in every stage of 

 grief and woe, from the becoming cap to the fashionable corset 

 and ball flounce — widows who would never forget the dear 

 deceased, or think of any other man — unless he had at least five 

 thousand a year. Lovely girls, who didn't care a farthing if the 



