MB. SPONGE'S SPORTING 10UH. 173 



" 'Deed have I ! " replied Springwheat ; " and a pair of 

 uncommon awkward tight customers they are," added he, trying 

 to move his feet about in them. 



" Ah ! you should always have a chap to wear your boots a few 

 times before you put them on yourself," observed his lordship. 

 " I never have a pair of tight uns," added he ; " Jack here always 

 does the needful by mine." 



"That's all very well for lords," replied Mr. Springwheat ; "but 

 us farmers wear out our boots fast enough ourselves, without any- 

 body to help us." 



"Well, but I s'pose we may as well fall to," observed his 

 lordship, casting his eye upon the well-garnished table. " All 

 these good things are meant to eat, I s'pose," added he : " cakes. 

 and sweets, and jellies without end : and as to your sideboard," 

 said he, turning round and looking at it, " it's a match for any 

 Lord Mayor's. A round of beef, a ham, a tongue, and is that a 

 goose or a turkey ? " 



"A turkey, my lord," replied Springwheat ; "home-fed. my lord." 



" Ah, home-fed, indeed ! " ejaculated his lordship, with a shake 

 of the head : " home-fed : wish I could feed at home. The man 

 who said that 



E'en from the peasant to the lord, 

 The turkey smokes on every board, 



told a big un, for I'm sure none ever smokes on mine." 



" Take a little here to-day, then," observed Mr, Springwheat, 

 cutting deep into the white breast. 



" I will," replied his lordship, " I will ; and a slice of tongue, 

 too," added he. 



" There are some hot sausingers comin'," observed Mr. Spring- 

 wheat. 



" You don't say so," replied his lordship, apparently thunder- 

 struck at the announcement. " Well, I must have all three. By 

 Jove, Jack ! " said he, appealing to his friend, "but you've lit on 

 your legs coming here. Here's a breakfast fit to set before the 

 Queen — muffins, and crumpets, and cakes. Let me advise you to 

 make the best use of your time, for you have but twenty minutes," 

 continued his lordship, looking at his watch, " and muffins and 

 crumpets don't come in your way every day." 



" 'Deed they don't," replied Jack, with a grin. 



"Will your lordship take tea or coffee ?" asked Mrs. Spring- 

 wheat, who had now taken her seat at the top of the table, behind 

 a richly chased equipage for the distribution of those beverages. 



" Ton my word, replied his lordship," apparently bewildered — 

 " 'pon my word, I don't know what to say. Tea or coffee ? To 

 tell you the truth, I was going to take something out of my 



