212 ME. SPONGE'S SPOETING TOUR. 



pretending they thought he was from home, and wishing to see the 

 elegant furniture, that there was nothing in the nurseries, which 

 he was going to convert into billiard and smoking-rooms. This, 

 and a few similar sallies, earned our friend the reputation of a wit 

 in the country. 



There was a great rush of gentlemen to call upon him ; many 

 of the mammas seemed to think that first come would be first 

 served, and sent their husbands over, before he was fairly squatted. 

 Various and contradictory were the accounts they brought home. 

 Men are so stupid at seeing and remembering things. Old Mr. 

 Muddle came back bemused with sherry, declaring that he thought 

 Mr. Puffington was as old as he was (sixty-two), while Mrs. 

 Mousetrap thought he wasn't more than thirty at the outside. 

 She described him as " painfully handsome." Mr. Slowan 

 couldn't tell whether the drawing-room furniture was chintz, or 

 damask, or what it was ; indeed, he wasn't sure that he was in 

 the drawing-room at all ; while Mr. Gapes insisted that the carpet 

 was a Turkey carpet, whereas it was a royal cut pile. It might be 

 that the smartness and freshness of everything confused the 

 bucolic minds, little accustomed to wholesale grandeur. 



Mr. Puffington quite eclipsed all the old country families with 

 their " company rooms " and put-away furniture. Then, when he 

 began to grind about the country in his lofty mail-phaeton, with 

 a pair of spanking, high-stepping bays, and a couple of arm-folded, 

 lolling grooms, shedding his cards in return for their calls, there 

 was such a talk, such a commotion as had never been known 

 before. Then, indeed, he was appreciated at his true worth. 



" Mr. Puffington was here the other day," said Mrs. Smirk to 

 Mrs. Smooth, in the well-known " great-deal-more-meant-than- 

 said " style. " Oh such a charming man ! Such ease ! such 

 manners ! such knowledge of high life ! " 



Puff had been at his old tricks. He had resuscitated Lord 

 Legbail, now Earl of Loosefish ; imported Sir Harry Blueun from 

 somewhere near Geneva, whither he had retired on marrying his 

 mistress ; and resuscitated Lord Mudlark, who had broken his 

 neck many years before from his tandem in Piccadilly. Whatever 

 was said, Puff always had a duplicate or illustration involving a 

 nobleman. The great names might be rather far-fetched at times, 

 to be sure, but when people are inclined to be pleased, they don't 

 keep putting that and that together to see how they fit, and 

 whether they come naturally, or are lugged in neck and heels. 

 Puffs talk was very telling. 



One great man to a house is the usual country allowance, and 

 many are not very long in letting out who theirs are ; but 

 Puffington seemed to have the whole peerage, baronetage, and 

 knightage at command. Old Mrs. Slyboots, indeed, thought that 



