262 MR. SPONGE'S SPORTING TOUR. 



M'Quirter, we need hardly say, was a Scotchman — a big, broad- 

 shouldered Sawney — formidable in " slacks," as he called his 

 trousers, and terrific in kilts ; while Grimes was a native of 

 Swillingford, an ex-schoolmaster and parish clerk, and now an 

 auctioneer, a hatter, a dyer and bleacher, a paper-hanger, to 

 which the wits said when he set up his paper, he added the trade 

 of "stainer." 



At first the rival editors carried on a " war to the knife " sort 

 of contest with one another, each denouncing his adversary in 

 terms of the most unmeasured severity. In this they were 

 warmly supported by a select knot of admirers, to whom they read 

 their weekly effusions at their respective " nouses of call " the 

 evening before publication. Gradually the fire of bitterness began 

 to pale, and the excitement of friends to die out ; M'Quirter 

 presently put forth a signal of distress. To accommodate "a large 

 and influential number of its subscribers and patrons," he deter- 

 mined to publish on a Tuesday instead of on a Saturday as here- 

 tofore, whereupon Mr. Grimes, who had never been able to fill a 

 single sheet properly, now doubled his paper, lowered his charge 

 for advertisements, and hinted at his intention of publishing an 

 occasional supplement. 



However exciting it may be for a time, parties soon tire of 

 carrying on a losing game for the mere sake of abusing each other, 

 and iEneas M'Quirter not being behind the generality of his 

 countrymen in " canniness " and shrewdness of intellect, came to 

 the conclusion that it was no use doing so in this case, especially 

 as the few remaining friends who still applauded, would be very 

 sorry to subscribe anything towards his losses. He therefore very 

 quietly negotiated the sale of his paper to the rival editor, and 

 having concluded a satisfactory bargain, he placed the bulk of his 

 property in the poke of his plaid, and walked out of Swillingford 

 just as if bent on taking the air, leaving Mr. Grimes in undisputed 

 possession of both papers, who forthwith commenced leading both 

 Whig and Tory mind, the one on the Tuesday, the other on the 

 Saturday. 



The pot and pipe companions of course saw how things were, but 

 the majority of the readers living in the country, just continued 

 to pin their faith to the printed declarations of their oracles, 

 while Grimes kept up the delusion of sincerity by every now and 

 then fulminating a tremendous denunciation against his trimming 

 vacillating, inconsistent opponent on the Tuesday, and then 

 retaliating with equal vigour upon himself on the Saturday. He 

 wrote his own " leaders," both Whig and Tory, the arguments of 

 one side pointing out answers for the other. Sometimes he led 

 the way for a triumphant refutal, while the general tone of the 

 articles was quite of the " upset a ministry " style. Indeed, 



