424 MR. SPONGE'S SPORTING TOUR. 



" 'Ord hang it ! a married man can live on very little," solilo- 

 quises our friend. A nice lovely creature to keep one at home. 

 Hunting's all humbug ; it's only the flash of the thing that makes 

 one follow it. Then the danger far more than counterbalances 

 the pleasure. Awful places one has to ride over, to be sure, or 

 submit to be called ' slow.' Horrible thing to set up for a horse- 

 man, and then have to ride to maintain one's reputation. Will 

 be thankful to give it up altogether. The bays will make capital 

 carriage-horses, and one can often pick up a second-hand carriage 

 as good as new. Shall save no end of money by not having to 

 put ' B ' to my name in the assessed tax-paper. One club's as 

 good as a dozen — will give up the Polyanthus and the Sunflower, 

 and the Refuse and the Rag. Ladies' dresses are cheap enough. 

 Saw a beautiful gown t'other day for a guinea. Will start Master 

 Uergamotte. Does nothing for his wages ; will scarce clean my 

 boots. Can get a chap for half what I give him, who'll do double 

 the work. Will make Beans into coachman. What a convenience 

 to have one's wife's maid to sew on one's buttons, and keep one's 

 toes in one's stocking- feet ! Declare I lose half my things at the 

 washing for want of marking. Hanged if I won't marry and be 

 respectable — marriage is an honourable state ! " And thereupon 

 Tom grows a couple of inches taller in his own conceit. 



Though Mr. Sponge's thoughts did not travel in quite such a 

 luxurious first-class train as the foregoing, he, Mr. Sponge, being 

 more of a two-shirts-and-a-dicky sort of man, yet still the future 

 ways and means weighed upon his mind, and calmed the transports 

 of his present joy. Lucy was an angel ! about that there was no 

 dispute. He would make her Mrs. Sponge at all events. Touring 

 about was very expensive. He could only counterbalance the 

 extravagance of inns by the rigid rule of giving nothing to servants 

 at private houses. He thought a nice airy lodging in the suburbs 

 of London would answer every purpose, while his accurate know- 

 ledge of cab-fares would enable Lucy to continue her engagement 

 at the Royal Amphitheatre without incurring the serious over- 

 charges the inexperienced are exposed to. "Where one can dine, 

 two can dine," mused Mr. Sponge ; " and I make no doubt we'll 

 manage matters somehow." 



" Twopence for your thoughts ! " cried Lucy, trotting up, and 

 touching him gently on the back with her light silver-mounted 

 riding-whip. "Twopence for your thoughts!" repeated she, as 

 Mr. Sponge sauntered leisurely along, regardless of the bitter cold, 

 followed by such of the hounds as chose to accompany him. 



" Ah ! " replied he, brightening up ; " I was just thinking what 

 a deuced good run we'd had." 



" Indeed! " pouted the fair lady. 



" No, my darling ; I was thinking what a very pretty girl you 



