410 



be Caliph Omar for a week," says he, " I would pitch every one of 

 those despicable manuscripts into the flames ; from my lord's who is 

 ' in' with Jack Snaffle's stable, and is overreaching worse-informed 

 rogues, and swindling green-horns, down to Sam's, the butcher's boy, 

 who books eighteen-penny odds in the tap-room, and stands to win 

 five-and- twenty bob." We say ditto to that, and are not sure that 

 we wouldn l t hang a " leg " or a " list " man or two into the bargain. 

 Watchorn had a prophet of his own, one Enoch Wriggle, who, 

 having tried his hand unsuccessfuly first at tailoring, next as an 

 accountant, then in the watercress, afterwards in the buy " 'at-box, 

 bonnet-box," and lastly in the stale lobster and periwinkle line, had 

 set up as an oracle on turf matters, forwarding the most accurate 

 and infallible information to fiats in exchange for half-crowns, heading 

 his advertisements, " If it be a sin to covet honour, I am the most 

 offending soul alive ! " Enoch did a considerable stroke of business, 

 and couched his advice in such dubious terms, as generally to be 

 able to claim a victory whichever way the thing went. So the " offend- 

 ing soul " prospered ; and from scarcely having shoes to his feet, 

 he very soon set up a gig. 



CHAPTER LXVIII. 



HOW THE " GRAND ARISTOCRATIC " CAME OFF. 



Steeple-chases are generally crude, ill-arranged things. Few 

 sportsmen will act as stewards a second time ; while the victim to 

 the popular delusion of patronising our " national sports " considers 

 — like gentlemen who have served the office of sheriff, or church- 

 warden — that once in a lifetime is enough ; hence, there is always 

 the air of amateur actorship about them. There is always something 

 wanting or forgotten. Either they forget the ropes, or they forget 

 the scales, or they forget the weights, or they forget the bell, or — 

 more commonly still — some of the party forget themselves. Far- 

 mers, too, are easily satisfied with the benefits of an irresponsible 

 mob careering over their farms, even though some of them are attired 

 in the miscellaneous garb of hunting and racing costume. Indeed it 

 is just this mixture of two sports that spoils both ; steeple-chasing 

 being neither hunting nor racing. It has not the wild excitement or 

 the one, nor the accurate calculating qualities of the other. The 

 very horses have a peculiar air about them — neither hunters nor hacks, 

 nor yet exactly race-horses. Some of them, doubtless, are fine, good- 

 looking, well-conditioned animals ; but the majority are lean, lathy 



