LIFE OF THE AUTHOR xv 



I ran myself right out, so that I came a most 

 mortal involuntary, with no use to ' call for a cab,' 

 as the steeplechase riders put it. Then occurred 

 with the hour, the man — and the man was Billy 

 Winship, whom I will quote for the finish of the 

 story. Says Billy : ' There was Mr Notions 

 a-running ' (you should hear this in the Newcastle 

 lingo !) ; * he was a-running, a-running, a-running, 

 at last he falls down, and he says, * I am ' (very 

 Novocastrian language) *if I can run anymore.' 

 Instead of which good old Billy collared the copy 

 out of my hand, ran himself to the Scotswood 

 telegraph office, bunged in the message, and the 

 wires broke down before the next despatch 

 arrived. 



"Once, in Mr Billy Innes's great sculling 

 tournament, I got knocked overboard from the 

 Press boat, and swam ashore at Barnes, as did 

 the Sportsman s young man, who was supposed 

 to go down one side and up the other. Nothing 

 but my old good friend Tom Tagg's stern 

 resolution and presence of mind saved a whole 

 launch-load from being turned into the water out 

 of his launch that day and probably drowned. 

 When you were in the water as I was you were 

 not too happy because of efforts to administer 

 first aid. An old gentleman hurled an iron pail 

 at my head to keep me up, and two others 

 launched a penny-steamer's quant or exaggerated 

 boat-hook, which would have killed me fatally 

 dead, and sunk itself, by reason of its weighty iron 

 shoe, as soon as it got to the water. Thanks to 

 not being assisted, I got ashore, and forthwith 

 dispatched my account by wire from the Barnes 

 post-office, whose mistress ordered me out of the 

 place because I made it so wet. My confrere 



