296 WAYFARING NOTIONS 



outward journey to Ascot, or anywhere else, with 

 the walking pupils, because it is a great and 

 desirable thing to avoid getting really warm on 

 your way to a halting-place unless you are going 

 to change, as well as dwell there. New hands put 

 it on to finish a walk, but that is a very bad 

 plan if you are going to stand about. 



Perhaps you may inquire what I would sub- 

 stitute for the unwholesome cap. Precisely the 

 headgear associated with Ascot races — the topper 

 of Society. People run down the stove-pipe. I 

 would never put anything else on — as headgear, 

 please understand ; I do not intend anything in 

 the Lo the Poor Indian line — if I could arrange 

 things my own way. First, because I consider 

 it the most comfortable wear ; second, on 

 account of its being the cheapest, and it is 

 wonderful how sensitive most of us are about the 

 article. One of the oldest Covent Garden 

 Market stories is of a much-respected salesman 

 who, while the big blaze of the theatre was on, 

 found himself in a dense crowd, and a tall hat, 

 with all the morning's takings in his clothes, and 

 some pickpockets of his acquaintance for next- 

 door neighbours. They knew about his money, 

 and he knew they meant getting it, so kept his 

 hands fast in the pockets where the gear was. 

 All manner of dodges did they try. Such 

 friendly pleasantries as flicking his ears with 

 their finger-nails and grinding his toes with their 

 boots did they inflict. He stood that, and the 

 money was safe. They bunted him in the small 

 of the back with their knees and pinched him in 

 the soft places. So much in the way of physical 

 torture he endured manfully, and held the bank 

 all right. Then they called him names and said 



