122 Crossing the Line 



1829, continued 



use a coral. His nurse attended him with a bucket full of burgoo or hasty 

 pudding, witli which she occasionally fed him out of the cook's iron ladle. 

 Two or three stout men were habited as sea nymphs, to attend on the goddess; 

 they carried a looking-glass, some curry-combs, a birch-broom, and a pot of 

 red paint, by way of rouge. 



As soon as the procession appeared on the forecastle, the captain, attended 

 by his steward bearing a tray with a bottle of wine and some glasses, came 

 out of his cabin, and the cars of the marine deities were drawn up on the 

 quarter-deck. Neptune lowered his trident, and presented the dolphin to the 

 captain, as Amphitrite did her albicore, in token of submission and homage 

 to the representative of the King of Great Britain. 



"I have come," said the god, "to welcome you into my dominions, and to 

 present my wife and chud." The captain bowed. "AUow me to ask after my 

 brother and hege sovereign, the good old King George." 



"He is not so well," said the captain, "as I and all his subjects could wish." 



"More's the pity," replied Neptune; "and how is the Prince of Wales?" 



"The Prince is well," said the captain, "and now governs as regent in the 

 name of his royal father." 



"And how does he get on with his wife?" said the inquisitive god. 



"Bad enough," said the captain; "they agree together like a whale and a 

 thrasher." 



"Ahl I thought so," said the god of the sea. "His royal highness should take 

 a leaf out of my book: never allow it to be doubtful who is the commanding 

 oflBcer." 



"And pray what might your majesty's specific be, to cure a bad wife?" 

 said the captain. 



"Three feet of the cross-jack brace every morning before breakfast, for a 

 quarter of an hour, and half-an-hour on a Sunday." 



"But why more on a Simday than any other day?" said the captain. 



"Why?" said Neptune. "Why, because she'd been keeping Saturday night, 

 to be sure; besides, she has less to do of a Sunday, and more time to think of 

 her sins and do penance." 



"But you would not have a prince strike a lady, surely?" 



"Wouldn't I? No, to be sure, if she behave herself as sich, on no account; 

 but if she gives tongue and won't keep sober, I'd sarve her as I do Amphy — 

 don't I, Amphy?" chucking the goddess under the chin. "We have no bad 

 wives in the bottom of the sea; and so if you don't know how to keep 'em in 

 order, send them to us." 



"But your majesty's remedy is violent; we should have a rebellion in Eng- 

 land if the king was to beat his wife." 



"Make the lords in waiting do it, then," said the surly god; "and if they 

 are too lazy, which I dare say they are, send for a boatswain's mate from the 

 Royal Buly — he'd sarve her out, I warrant you, and for half a gallon of rum 



