OF THE SOUTH SEAS 245 



Tuesday. 



Of course, I will be called coward now, but the same people 

 who call me this are those who have caused me to seek death, 

 for they branded me liar and wastrel, simply on an untrue 

 report appearing* in an American newspaper. Chief among 

 these people are that most despicable cad Hallman, and sec- 

 ondly, the British Consul. Even had I been guilty of all that 

 has been said, why were they not manly and generous enough 

 to give or find me congenial employment? They are not blind 

 and could see how anxious and willing I was to obtain this. 

 No, they only gloated over my starving and pitiable condition. 

 Well, they spring from the proletariat class and not much else 

 could be expected. 



God only knows how much I want to live and how I dread 

 having to take my own life, but only for the sake of my people. 

 If I could only see them again it would be easier. How did I 

 ever fall so low! God help me! Is there nothing else for me 

 but this ignominious death? But I must save my people from 

 knowing. I am not using my correct name here, so it will be 

 useless for any one to make inquiries. A volume of poems will 

 be found in my pocket. I wonder if the Bishop would kindly 

 post these to Miss B. Wilmer, Broken Hill, West Australia, 

 but only telling her I died here, without particulars, and saying 

 I have written these since leaving home. Oh, why did I ever 

 leave there, where love and all that is good and pure was 

 lavished on me? 



If it is possible, could I be buried in the sea? Just placed in 

 a coffin and dropped into the peaceful ocean, peace that I have 

 not known for four years. Please have this done for me. 



I do not think I am committing suicide, rather I am being 

 murdered by men who have none of the nobler feelings, ungener- 

 ous, unsympathetic and cruelly unkind. The fact of my death 

 will not affect one of those who ruined my reputation here, 

 who deprived me of obtaining food, and a room to sleep in. 

 They have no more conscience so cannot feel remorse. I will 

 not sign my true name but only part of it. 



Gordon Innes. 



