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THE ILLINOIS FARMER. 



II 



THE DAIRY. 



A day or two since we were sitting in a 

 store, when a half-grown lad entered, dress- 

 ed in a large, torn overcoat, and going to 

 the shop keeper, said, " Don't you want to 

 buy a roll of butter ? " at the same time 

 drawing from his capacious pocket something 

 that was done np in a rag very nearly the 

 color of saffron, and which, apparently, had 

 not visited the water for the last twenty 

 years, althongh constantly undergoing liard 

 service. The shop-keeper looked aghast — 

 " Sir," said he, " I have not time to examine 

 your butter." The lad left. He was un- 

 doubtedly some relation to Miss Sally Sly, 

 mentioned in the following report: 



Report on Butter. 



Joe's wife was Sally Sly — when a small 

 girl she was sly — she would not half wash the 

 milk-pail, but sly it away and let it sour. 

 Slie was sly at school, and did not half get 

 her lessons, but as she grew older she learn- 

 ed that to get well married she must appear 

 well, and so she bent all her cunning to get 

 a superficial education in everything, from 

 roasting a potato to playing the piano. 

 Poor Joe fell in love with her, and " love has 

 no eyes; " so he married her. But soon after 

 they entered on house keeping, his eye sight 

 came, and he saw. his fix, that it was for bet- 

 ter or worse, and he thought it was all for 

 worse. Like a true philosopher, he coridii-<- 

 ded to er.dure what he could not avoid or I 

 cure, and got along tolerably well, only when 

 he came to her butter, for his mother was a 

 real butter maker. Every time he saw or 

 tasted daily's butter he felt the horrors. Her 

 manner of making butter is somewhat as fol- 

 lows: 



She thinks it of no consequence whether 

 the milk pail is sweet or sour — sets the milk 

 in a warm room because it is easier than to 

 go into the cellar, and if some dirt should 

 blow into the pans, she thinks every man 

 must " eat a peck of dirt," and in no place 

 will it slip down easier than in butter— she 

 lets the cream-pots be open, and when she 

 churns, forgets the poke; leaves the rream 

 at blood heat that it may come quick. When 

 she takes it out of the churn, she picks out 

 the bodies of all flies and spiders; the legs 

 and wings are so small, they can be swal- 

 lowed. She works out half the buttermilk 

 and sets it away, Poor Joe has seen so 

 much of this kind that he declares that but- 

 ter does not agree with his health, and will 



not taste it. Yet, his wife wonders why he 

 does not try it, and marvels that he does not 

 keep a dairy and make butter for the mar- 

 ket. 



Jonathan was a younger brother than Joe, 

 and he had occasion to eat at his brother's 

 enough to know why he did not eat butter; 

 and he declared he never would marry with- 

 out knowing what side of bis bread was but- 

 tered. Following the bent of his fancy, Ju- 

 lia Jumper almost caught him— for there 

 was always good batter on the table for tea, 

 but he was determined to know by whom it 

 was made. On inquiry, she says : 



" La me! mother makes the butterf^X take 

 lessous on the piano." ■• - 



" Well," says Jonathan, " I want a wife 

 that takes lessons on the churn. I shall 

 look further." • 



After several unsuccessful attempts, and 

 just ready to despair, he started in pursuit 

 of stray cattle before breakfast, and wander- 

 ed through the forest to the next town, and 

 weary and hungry, called at a decent look- 

 ing house and asked for refreshments, which 

 were cordially granted, for the family were 

 what are called Scotch Irish — in religion 

 Presbyterians, and in hospitality boundless. 



Here he found the butter exactly right; 

 though the weather was hot, the butter kept 

 the shape as will as the beeswax. He cat- 

 echised the old lady about her housewifery, 

 for the bread was as right as the butter; 

 The old lady said her health was feeble — 

 she could do but little, and Jenny had the 

 whole management. He made some round- 

 about inquiries concerning Jenny, and heard 

 that she wa-s a hearty black-eyed lass of two 

 and twenty; she had never seen a piano or 

 'attended a ball, but knew the Assembly's 

 Catechism, and could sing Old Hundred to 

 a charm, spin flax and darn stockings, and 

 was then gone to town with butter. He 

 lingered, but she was delayed, and when his 

 excuses for staying were exhausted, he start- 

 ed. He could not get the butter out of bis 

 mind, and how it happened I know not, he 

 soon found hrs way there again, and the re- 

 sult of his adventure was, he made a wife of 

 Jenny McKearn. And now one lump of his 

 butter is worth more than all Joe's wife 

 would make in a month. There is no trou- 

 ble in going to market — the keepers of ibe 

 genteel boarding houses in the neighbor- 

 ing villages send and take it at the highest 

 market price. 



Now the main difference between these 

 two women arises from the manner of train- 

 ing, though there is no difference in natural 

 disposition. Old Madam Sly never looked 

 on to see that Sally did right, but suffered 



