EMPIRES CHILDREN: THE PEOPLE OK TZINTZUNTZAN FOSTER 



249 



You can't imagine the longing I have to be beside 

 you to tell you many things, for I see that my life 

 means nothing to you from the slight appreciation 

 which you show, and which I see in many things. 

 That winch you have promised me you have already 

 forgotten, and thus you forget me, for I am of no 

 importance to you, but never mind. 



Giiare, many kisses from he who loves you. 



Kinship, real or fictitious, is the only mar- 

 riage restriction which must be taken into ac- 

 count. No persons closer than third cousins may 

 marry, nor would one marry an individual di- 

 rectly related through the compadrazgo system. 

 No cases were noted of individuals of the same 

 surname marrying, though there is no real 

 reason why they could not, according to inform- 

 ants. Most marriages among Mestizos take place 

 within the village, though a fair number are 

 with individuals from other towns of the inu- 

 nicipio. and even from beyond. Ideally the boy 

 is a couple of years older than the girl. In rare 

 cases, he may be a good many years older, 

 though few real June-December matches exist. 

 Rarely a boy marries a girl a number of years 

 older than he. Timidity, says compadre Gui- 

 llermo, is the reason. Some boys are so frighten- 

 ed by girls that they dare not steal them, and 

 fall easy victims to older designing women. 



The qualities wliich one seeks in a spouse 

 are a combination of physical attractiveness 

 coupled with a known reputation for work and 

 sobriety. Carmen states her preference for a 

 man of average stature and good build, but 

 never fat. "Much better that he be skinny than 

 too fat." He should have a brunette complexion, 

 but not too dark. A man with much beard or 

 long hair is out, and a man with heavy body 

 hair — a rare thing in Tzinztuntzan — is very 

 undesirable. On the moral side he should be 

 serious and hard working, and not inclined to 

 drink, and his family should have the same 

 reputation. Preferably his parents should have 

 been married by the Church and not subsequent- 

 ly separated. The latter point, it seems, is rather 

 for what others might say than from any partic- 

 ular feeling on her part. 



Apart from physical attractiveness the qual- 

 ities a boy looks for are lack of argumentative- 

 ness, i. e., willingness to recognize the man's 

 dominant role in the household. The girl should 

 not be a flirt, let alone have questionable mor- 

 als, and after maturity she should not leave 



her house except in the company of her parents 

 or other girls. 



TYPES OF CEREMONIES 



There are two socially recognized ways by 

 which a boy may take a girl as his wife: he 

 may ask permission of her parents, or he may 

 elojje with her. The latter is far more common, 

 in spite of the fact that, on the surface at least, 

 it is always frowned upon. Probably 90 per- 

 cent of all marriages are of this type, in which 

 the boy "steals" the girl at night. Carmen dis- 

 cusses marriage, and feels that the local custom 

 is rather shameful and should be abolished. 

 "And how were you married. Carmen?" I ask. 

 "Pues, me robaron' ("I was stolen, of course"). 

 And so it was with her sisters, and with nearly 

 all of her friends. In this pattern we see an 

 Indian survival from pre-Conquest times. The 

 Relacion mentions this as one of the most com- 

 mon forms of marriage for commoners, and to- 

 day in purely Tarascan communities it is the 

 rule. 



Formal "asking" takes place only when the 

 young couple is convinced that there will be no 

 parental opposition, generally among the upper 

 or more catrin classes. The boy's father, usually 

 with the baptismal godparents and other interest- 

 ed persons, may visit the home of the girl, tak- 

 ing presents of food and liquor. Usually such a 

 request will be immediately accepted or reject- 

 ed; the series of formal visits characteristic of 

 some parts of Mexico is here not the rule. If 

 the boy's father is not living, an older married 

 brother or friend may take the part. Since en- 

 gagement by this means is so rare it is hard 

 to tell how standard the procedure is. A case 

 history will illustrate how it may be done. 



Moises Ramos, a widower of 30, wished to marry 

 Rosita Farias, a girl of 16. He talked to the girl 

 and was accepted, but her mother and also the priest 

 objected. Finally, however, Rosita. in the presence 

 of both priest and mother, insisted that she wanted 

 to marry Moises, and received their grudging ])cr- 

 mission. The same night Moises. accompanied by 

 his baptismal godmother and several other relatives 

 and friends, carried a tray of bread worth about $4 

 to the home of Rosita. destined for the mother, and 

 another tray with less bread for the sweetheart her- 

 self. Other trays included one with $5 of silver, a 

 serape. and two bottles of cane brandy. Moises de- 

 posited the trays on the floor and then left. They 

 then went to the house of Rosita's baptismal god- 



