CENSUS COMICALITIES, 
By G. D. BayLey, Census COMMISSIONER, 
Census-taking, like most other things, has its humorous side. That this should 
be so is not surprising when we remember that it is an undertaking in which 
every individual in every class of the community is called upon to contribute 
his quota. 
Not a few of the absurdities perpetrated have their origin in the prejudice 
which is entertained by the lower classes against the numbering of the people. 
This prejudice, born of superstitious fear, is one which dates back to very early 
times and is by no means peculiar to the people of our colony. Asa local writer 
has recently pointed out, when a Census was first mooted in England in 1753 it 
was stoutly resisted, one member of Parliament pronoincing it to be “ totally 
subversive of the last remains of English liberty,” while another expressed the 
fear that it would lead to some public misfortune and would be followed by 
“ an epidemical disorder.” 
The old woman in one of our villages who resisted giving the required particu- 
lars for her census paper, declaring ‘“ dis same t’ing gwine bring trouble ’pon the 
lan’ o’ Demerara ; yo’ no read “bout Moses when Moses count Israel,’’ had, 
therefore, at least good precedent for her superstitious fears although she was 
very much behind the times in her ideas. 
Decidedly more up to date, however, correspondingly in advance of 
the times, as foreshadowing the arrival of old-age pensions in the colony, was the 
old coolie woman who, thinking that she was to receive something, and more, 
according to age, told the Enumerator, ‘* Me got am more 60 year, Sahib! me ole 
ole granny, put am ninety-eleben year.” 
Of another old lady of religious proclivities it is recorded that she preached 
the following homily to the Enumerator on his appearance before her: “ Oh 
gentleman! dis Guvna bringing sin ’pon de country. He don’ read he Bible ? 
He ent know de punishment beh‘n’ dis t’ing! Ah read dat King David was a 
great King in de lan’ an’ dat he number Israel. God sen’ one 0’ he chief men, a 
prophet, to David for he to choose one 0’ two troubles—wedda (whether) all he 
enemies should come an’ overt’row de lan,’ or wedda he should visit it with a 
sore disease. Ahrelateitasahreadif. Den David say, befo’ ah fall in de hands 
o’ me enemies ah radder leave meself in de han’s 0’ me Maker. And is so de 
pestilence come ’pon de lan’.’’ 
The following colloquy furnishes, inter alia, not a bad example of the old creole 
negro’s faculty for simile :—She (expectantly) :— ‘‘ Ah hear say dat de New 
King wan’ fo’ know how much poo’ people dem he got so as fo’ sen’ dem money ? ”” 
—Enumerator : “ Well not exactly so, old woman.’’—She (indignantly) : “ Well 
sah! ah tell yo’ de trut’, ef not so as ah hear, den me name not gwine ’pon 
dat paper (shaking her head reflectively). Sometimes goat a dance up and 
