20 UNPUBLISHED LETTERS OF THE 



Letter 4— to Mrs. T. M. Hitchins, Stoke, Plymouth Dock. 



SOtli July, Falmouth, 1805. 



My Dearest Cousin, 



I am exceedingly rejoiced at being permitted to send you one 

 more letter, as the former, if it had been the last, would have 

 left I fear a painful impression on your mind. It pleased God to 

 restore peace to my mind soon after I came on board — as I 

 thought — finally. I was left more alone with God, and found 

 blessed seasons of intercourse with him. But when your letter 

 came, I found it so sympathizing, so affectionate, that my heart 

 was filled with joy and thankfulness to God for such a dear 

 friend, and I could not refrain from bowing my knees imme- 

 diately to pray that God might bless all your words to the good 

 of my soul, and bless you for having written them. My views of 

 the respective importance of things continue, I hope, to rectify. 

 The shortness of time, the precious value of immortal souls, and 

 the plain command of Christ, all conspire to teach me that 

 Lydia must be resigned — and for ever, — for tho' you suggest the 

 possibility of my hereafter returning and being united to her, I 

 rather wish to beware of looking forward to anj^thing in this 

 life as the end or reward of my labours. It would be a 

 temptation to me to return before being necessitated. The rest 

 which remaineth for the people of God is in another world, 

 where they neither marry nor are given in marriage. But while 

 I thus reason, still a sigh wiU ever and anon escape me at the 

 thought of a final separation from her. In the morning when I 

 rise, before prayer puts grace into exercise, there is generally a 

 very heavy gloom on my spirits — and a distaste for everything 

 in earth or heaven. You do not seem to suppose that any 

 objection would remain in her mind, if I should return and 

 other obstacles were removed — which opinion of yours is no 

 doubt very pleasing to me, — but if there were anything more 

 than friendship, do you think it at all likely she could have 

 spoken and written to me as she has ? However do not supj^ose 

 from this that I wish to hear from you anything more on this 

 subject — in the hope of being gratified with an assurance to the 



