34 UNPUBLISHED LETTERS OF THE 



sucli a situation, and Christian friends are near to my mind 

 almost as if I saw them. Much of my time is spent, perhaps 

 too much, in thinking of Lydia. I think so long and so fondly 

 of her, that I generally find at the conclusion of my reveries, 

 that I have been only employed with idolatrous industry in setting 

 her up on a pedestal, and then comes the painful work of taking 

 the idol down again. I suppose from what you said that you 

 saw dear Lydia' s letter. The avowal of her regard affected me 

 so strongly, that I could not forget it day or night. How it 

 justifies the propriety of my application to her, if that needed 

 any justification! Since the receipt of that letter, I have 

 scarcely a doubt left of our father's having designed her for 

 me, or rather for this country. Yet I am too conscious of my 

 unworthiness of such a gift from Grod not to feel, that it does 

 not become me to be too sanguine. May the Lord help me 

 patiently to wait for and thankfully to receive every dispensation. 

 Of all who will feel pain at her departure from England, you 

 will suffer most, but your connection with a husband and 

 family is a tie that supersedes every natural claim : while here 

 I have not only no relation, but not a single soul of any 

 description, to whom I can unbosom myself. But besides that, 

 her sphere of usefulness here will be inconceivably great. Upon 

 all accounts then you will make your natural affection give way 

 to the general interests of the church of Grod, and as well to the 

 comfort of your unworthy brother. As I expect that she will 

 have left England two months before this reaches you, I think 

 it needless to address any more letters to her. If anything 

 should happen to detain her, she will receive application from 

 Miss Corrie, who is coming out to her brother, and from some 

 other young woman, whom Mr. Chamberlain, the Baptist mis- 

 sionary, has sent for, to accompany her. We all rejoice at the 

 prospect of a great increase of Christian society in this country 

 — there will be then nothing wanting to make it a paradise. 

 Such at least is my opinion of it ; some take an unaccountable 

 dislike to everything in it from the first moment of their arrival, 

 and everything seems to go wrong with them ; but they come as 

 exiles from home. There is not one of the twelve missionaries 

 or their wives, but who is delighted with it — and to myself 

 everything I see or do is a source of pleasure. In the cloudy 

 climate of England I was always oppressed with the body, but 



