EEV. HENRY MARTYN, B.D. 43 



mate people liear us, as I was this day. It is such a struggle 

 between a sense of modesty and of duty, that I find nothing so 

 painful. I could force my way anywhere to introduce a brother 

 minister, but for myself I act with hesitation and reluctance. 

 Be instant — out of season : how one's feelings revolt at it ! 

 Perha.ps you will say I was literally out of season by going when 

 the people were in bed : but in this country it is the time for 

 action, I could not expect them to assemble in the heat of 

 the day. 



[Ceetera desunt.] 



Letter 11 — (Commencement lost : 1807,) probably to Eev. T. M. 



Hitchins. 

 deprivation is less, considering the number of her sons and 

 daughters. Lydia's letter by this fleet gave the most delightful 

 accounts of dear cousin Emma's health — of her being robust 

 and able to walk to and from Dock, &c., but yours of a somewhat 

 later date I am sorry to see does not confirm this intelligence, and 

 so I am unwillingly obliged to cancel the congratulations I had 

 written in the former sheets. Indeed all my Europe letters this 

 season have brought me such painful news that I almost dread 

 receiving another. Such is the vanity of our expectations. I 

 had been looking out with more than ordinary anxiety for these 

 letters, thinking they would give me some account of Lydia's 

 coming — whereas your's and her's have only wounded me, and 

 my sister's,* giving me the distressing tidings of her ill-health, 

 makes my heart bleed. it is now that I feel the agony of 

 having haJf the globe intervening betsveen us. Could I but be 

 with her : yet God who heareth prayer will surely supply my 

 place. From Sally I expect neither promptness nor the ability 

 to console her sister. This is the first time Sally has taken up 

 her pen to write to me, and thought an apology necessary for 

 her neglect. Perhaps she has been wrapt up in her dear 

 husband, or her dearer self. I feel very angry with her. By 

 (but ? ) my dear faithful Lydia has more than compensated for 

 aU the neglect of my own relations. I believe she has sent me 

 more than all the rest in England put together. If I had not 

 loved her before, her affectionate and constant remembrance of 

 me would win my heart. 



* Mrs. Laura Curgenven = born January, 1779, died in the year 1807. 



