624 
cause only orthinary onint’ristin’ persons read 
litherachoor. In science wan must be ortherly. 
Iy’ry scientist has an ortherly brain an’ be- 
comes confused in his finer sinsibilities av a 
worrud has mo-ore than wan manin.’ We 
shall have a law passed forbiddin’ th’ use iv 
anny worrud in anny but the proper meanin’.’ 
“¢ How will ye know th’ proper manin’? 
says I, bein’ somewhat puzzled. 
“¢The proper manin’ iv anny worrud,’ says 
he, ‘ will be th’ manin’ which I and me broth- 
ers iv like int’rists and progrissiv ideas will 
give it.’ 
“¢Who are th’ villuns who have bin com- 
mittin’ this abuse iv will intinshuned 
worruds?’ I asked. 
“<“ They raly shud not be called scientists at 
all” says he, ‘but sudo- or false scientists. 
They call thimsilves “geneticists.” ’Tis a 
worrud that means an investigator in th’ sudo- 
science iv heredity. But whin th’ law is 
passed,’ says he, ‘’twill be a mame iy great 
approbrium.’ 
“¢T shud think the name wud be curse enuf,’ 
said I. ‘But what is the precise branch iv th’ 
great realm iv knowlidge that they st-thrive +? 
be settin’ in orther? What is th’ rale manin’ 
iv it?’ 
“¢They ar’ th’ scounthruls,’ says he bitin’ 
a large pace out iv a pincil he was holdin’, 
‘that ixamine yer eyes an’ th’ eyes iv yer wife 
—an’ th’ eyes iv yer parents barrin’ they ain’t 
iscaped be dyin’—an’ tell ye what color they 
will let th’ eyes iv yer chilther be.’ 
““What av ye rafuse t’ ixcipt th’ color they 
pick out fer ye,’ says I. 
“¢Ye have to,’ says he. 
“¢ The villuns,’ says I agin, fer be this time 
I was beginnin’ t? see th’ foul plot against th’ 
liburties iv our great nashun. ‘It must be 
stopped.’ 
“¢Tt will be,’ says he. ‘Ler goose a broila, 
as that prince iv awthirs Bill Shakespere or 
soome wan ilse has so will said. No more will 
they be allowed to fill th’ chicest jernuls wid 
mistakes, conthradicshuns and maledicshuns 
conearnin’ mathematics iv which they know 
nawthin’, an’ concarnin’ beollergy av which 
they know less.’ 
SCIENCE 
[N.S. Vou. XXXV. No. 903 
“¢ But don’t all conthribushuns to th’ larned 
jernuls soometimes contain mistakes?’ says I. 
“<All but those iv mesilf an’ a few ithers,’ 
says he. 
““ How do ye manage it?’ says I. 
“¢We don’t conthribute annythin’,” says he. 
““ Have ye spoken to me frind Doc Wiley 
about this attack upon th’ bulworruks iv a 
great people?’ says I. 
“«T have written him th’ full details,’ says 
he, ‘but I’m afraid he has proved false to th’ 
thrust th’ people have reposed within him.’ 
“¢What did he say?’ I ixclaimed in horror. 
“¢ Flere is his letther,’ says he. 
“¢My Dear Sir: I fear yer liver is out iv 
orther. I wud advise you to take Hg,Cl, wan- 
tinth grain iv’ry fifteen minits fer four hours. 
N. B. Be sure an’ rimimber the 2 afther the 
Hg, fer anny misuse iv sich a worrud or char- 
acther might cause wan iv yer inimies t’ be 
indited fer yer desace.” 
“Wud he pisen ye?’ says I. 
“¢T don’t know,’ says he, ‘I didn’t take it.’ ” 
“Tm not sure that I know what it’s all 
about,” said Mr. Hennessy, “but it must be a 
grand thing t’ be a raly great scientist. I 
shud like to be wan.” 
“Fergit it,’ said Mr. Dooley, “th’ great 
wans ar’ all dead.” 
A. P. Srupo, 
With apologies to P. F. Dunne 
SCIENTIFIC BOOKS 
RECENT BOOKS ON THE DOCTRINE OF DESCENT 
Ia genése des espéces animales. By UL. 
Cusinor. Paris, Felix Alean. 1911. 
Allgemeine Vererbungslehre. By V. Harcrer. 
Braunschweig, Friedr. Vieweg und Sohn. 
1911. 
Heredity in Relation to Evolution and Ani- 
mal Breeding. By Wituram EH. Castte. 
New York, D. Appleton & Co. 1911. 
Upon the Inheritance of Acquired Characters. 
By E. Rienano. Authorized English trans- 
lation by Basiz C. H. Harvey. Chicago, 
Open Court Publishing Co. 1911. 
These four books have one feature in com- 
mon, namely, they all deal with problems 
