Wood.] ^^C> [Xov. 10, 



find tliat scarcely five miimtes had elapsed. I would gaze at its face 

 in deep disgust, the minu.te hand seemingly motionless as though graven 

 iu the face itself ; the laggard second liand moving slowly, so slowly. It 

 appeared a hopeless task to watch during its whole infinite round of a min- 

 ute, and always would I give up in despair before the GO seconds had 

 elapsed. Occasionally, when my mind was most lucid, there was in it a 

 sort of duplex action in regard to the duration of time. I would think 

 to myself it has heen so long since a certain event, an hour for example, 

 since the doctor came, and then reason would say, no it has heen only a 

 few miniites, your thoughts or feelings are caused by the hemp. Never- 

 theless I was not able to shake off this sense of the almost indefinite prolonga- 

 tion of time, even for a minute. The paroxysms already alluded to, were not 

 accompanied with muscular relaxation. About quarter before 9 o'clock, I 

 was standing at the door, anxiously watching for the doctor, and when the 

 spells would come on I would remain standing, leaning slightly, perhaps, 

 against the doorAvay. After aAvhile, I saw a man approaching, whom I took 

 to be the doctor. The sounds of his steps told me he was Avalking very rap- 

 idly, and he was under a gas lamp, not more than one-fourth of a square dis- 

 tant, yet he appeared a vast distance away and a corresponding time ap- 

 proaching. This was the only occasion, in which I noticed an exaggeration 

 of distance ; in the room it was not perceptible. My extremities noM' began 

 to grow cold and I went into the house. I do not remember further, until I 

 was aroused by Dr. Thcmas shaking or calling me. Then intellection 

 seemed pretty good. I narrated what I had done and sufl^ered, and told 

 the doctor my opinion was, that an emetic was indicated both to remove 

 any of the extract still remaining in my stomach and also to arouse the 

 nervous system. I further suggested our going into the office as more 

 suitable than the parlor, where we then were. There was at this time a 

 very marked sense of numbness in my limbs, and what the doctor said 

 was a hard ijinch, produced no pain. When I attempted to walk up stairs 

 my legs seemed as though their lower halves were made of lead. After 

 this there were no new symptoms, only an intensifying of those already 

 mentioned. The periods of unconsciousness became at once longer and 

 more frequent, and during their absence intellection was more imper- 

 fect, although when thoroughly roused, I thought I reasoned and judged 

 clearly. The oppressive feeling of impending death became more intense. 

 It Avas horrible. Each paroxysm Avould seem to have been the longest I 

 had suff'ered : as I came out of it, a voice seemed constantly saying, 

 "you are getting Avorse — your paroxysms are growing longer and deeper — 

 they will overmaster you — you Avill die." 



A sense of personal antagonism betAveen my will power and myself, as 

 affected by the drug, grew very strong. I felt as though my only chance 

 was to struggle against these paroxysms ; that I must constantly arouse 

 myself by an effort of will, and that effort was made Avitli infinite toil and 

 pain. I felt as if some evil spirit had control of the whole of me, except 

 the will power, and was in determined conflict Avith that, the last citadel 

 of my being. I have never experienced anything like the fearful sense 

 of almost hopeless anguish and utter Aveariness Avhich was upon me. 



