Various Hints. 15 



Art. VI. Autobiography, and various Hints. 

 By Agronome. 



Dear Sir, 



I have got the pen in hand, and the paper and ink before 

 me, and am determined to write something ; but what it shall 

 be I cannot determine at present. I have dropped the salt, which 

 is said to be a very bad omen, and I rather think there must 

 be some truth in the saying, for I cannot think what article I 

 should pick up next ; and when I have laid hold of an article, 

 I have no notion how I ought to handle it, nor do I know how 

 this letter will look till after I have finished it, any more than I 

 do what my volume will be like when I have finished it. You 

 must therefore excuse me giving my name or address until you 

 have had the quire of paper, at least, when if I have said no- 

 thing worthy of being talked about, I will shrink back into my 

 former obscurity or littleness, and conclude that my organs 

 are not properly formed for making any great noise in the 

 world. 



Ah, Sir ! the want of a good education is a shocking want 

 to such as wish to make a figure in the world. I am fearful 

 that my attempts to become an author are little better than 

 those of a quack-doctor endeavouring to become a learned 

 physician. I am just now labouring under a severe fit of the 

 spleen, and perhaps encroaching on what is forbidden in the 

 tenth commandment, viz. (i envying and grieving at the good 

 (education) of my neighbours," &c. But I will snuff the 

 candle, mend my pen, and pluck up my spirits. — Surely I 

 was not idle all the time that my neighbours were at college. 

 Was I not watching the progress of the animal and vegetable 

 creation ? Was I not learning the management of horses, cows, 

 sheep, and pigs ? Yes, Sir ; I learned to assist the females in 

 their extremities, to discipline the males, and to shear the 

 sheep according to the literal sense of the word. I have also 

 been fortunate in setting broken limbs, or straightening such 

 as were crooked ; I learned butchering very perfectly without 

 serving an apprenticeship to the trade, but merely by practising 

 on such as had died, or would have died prematurely. I also 

 learned to hold the plough without wheels, and to guide the 

 horses without a driver; to deposit the various seeds in the 

 earth, and to gather and secure the various crops, for the con- 

 sumption of man and beast. 



I learned gardening not particularly from choice, but being 

 the youngest son of a poor old farmer, I could not afford to 

 put myself out to any other trade. In my self-conceit, I shall 



